Ryan was still buried inside me, and was bracing his arms on either side of my head. Something heavy lingered in his gaze.The lust and arousal had faded, leaving behind something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
“Ry?”
He pressed his lips to my forehead. “I was just thinking about the first time I saw you.”
I laughed. “When I bought a vibrator box full of rocks? This definitely beats that by a longshot.”
But he didn’t laugh. He didn’t even smile. The weight was back. “I just didn’t know how good things would be with you,” he admitted. “I tell people to chase this kind of feeling, but I had never felt it. Not entirely. Not until now.”
I wanted him to say it. To say the three words that had been floating through my head.
But he didn’t.
And I didn’t either.
Maybe book boyfriendsdoexist. But cowards exist too.
THE FORD METHOD: WEEK TWELVE
FUTURE
Congratulations! You’ve made it to the end of The Ford Method!
Much like last week, this week is short and sweet.
In the grand scheme of things, three months isn’t a long time. Society dictates that relationships need more time to grow and mature before fully committing to forever. I don’t disagree with that standard. However, I believe that three months is long enough to get to a point with your partner and your relationship where you will be able to make an informed decision on whether or not this relationship is something that you want to pursue as a long-term commitment.
Now, before you freak out about me trying to get you to the altar after three months, calm down and listen.
I’m not talking about marriage or even talking about a proposal.
There are valid logistics that can temporarily prohibit you from taking things from dating to an engagement. The question here is if this relationship is something that you want to pursue as you work through those temporary roadblocks. Is it something that motivates you to move mountains?
Logistics like waiting to get engaged until after you or your partner complete a degree can be managed. Logistics like moving for a job or dealing with long-distance can be managed.
But are you emotionally ready for a commitment? If you’re not, that cannot be managed.
Relationships are work. Hell, life is work. Doing life with a partner isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. It requires—what’s that word?—intention. (See? I snuck it in one more time.)
There will be some days where you aren’t motivated to keep putting in effort. I hope the Ford Method has given you a level of discipline and structure to keep investing in your relationship when motivation fails. As you move into this next season of life, use the concepts talked about in weeks one through eleven to continually invest in your relationship.
This week, it’s important to take time to analyze any hang-ups or hesitations you have about making this a long-term relationship. Reflect on areas where you need to put in more work. Reflect on areas where you and your partner need to have honest discussions about what is working or not working. But only havethose conversations if the relationship is something you want to maintain for the long haul. Together, decide if this relationship is going to move from the present to the future.
Over the course of your life, you’ll be faced with many decision points. Some of those decisions will be more obvious than others.
The Ford Method is intended to equip you with guidance, tools, and experience to nurture a lasting relationship. However, a lasting relationship requires equal investment and effort from everyone involved.
This program sets you up for success, but it cannot manufacture chemistry and connection. There are no guarantees in life. Love certainly isn’t one of them. (If we could guarantee love, this program would be way more expensive, and I would have a private jet.)
I hope that everything you have done these last twelve weeks has set you up for a beautiful life with someone you care deeply about. I hope that this journey has brought you closer to your partner. I hope you have learned things about yourself that you didn’t know before. I hope you grew as a person and invested in yourself as well.
Life is a constant lesson. It challenges us in ways we never expect when we least expect it. Whatever comes your way, you are prepared and capable.
Should you ever need guidance, support, or resources, don’t hesitate to reach out throughthe contact form or resource page on the Ford Method Website.
Congratulations on completing The Ford Method. And if it happened to work for you, send me a wedding invitation. I love cake.
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