I tried to focus on Lochlan’s face, but his features swam in and out of focus and his voice was garbled.
“I’m…fine,” I repeated. I couldn’t think of any other words. All I wanted to do was close my eyes and rest. I shouldn’t.
But I couldn’tnotsleep. It was impossible to resist. My head rolled to the side and I blacked out.
The effort requiredto open my eyes was almost too much to bear. I tried to put my hand up to my head but lacked the strength. Nausea rippled through me and my entire body felt like a giant sack of wet sand, useless and immoveable.
“Welcome back,” Lochlan said. “I wasn’t sure you were going to make it for a little bit there.”
I groaned, rolled my head to the side and wondered if I was about to vomit. I didn’t think I had the strength even for that. We were back at the cottage, and I was laid out on one of the beds. Lochlan had a basin at the ready and was watching me closely.
“Roderick and Peter aren’t here right now,” he told me. “Why were you pretending to be a boy? Want to explain?”
“No,” I croaked.
“What’s your name?”
“Gil.”
“Drink this.” He hooked his arm beneath my shoulders and propped me into a sitting position so I could sip a bitter-tasting drink. It was disgusting but helped to clear my head and drive away the worst of the nausea, though the pain remained. When I tried to move away from Lochlan, I only managed to flop back down.
“Ow.”
He adjusted my position to where I was as comfortable as possible. “So how old are you really?”
“Older than thirteen.”
“I gathered that much, funnily enough. Is that why you always smudge dirt on your face? To make you look like a boy wanting to be older?”
I managed a tight smile. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. That’s real facial hair. You’re just jealous that you can’t grow a beard as impressive as mine.”
“You’ve put on a good act,” Lochlan admitted as he pressed fresh bandages over the wound. “You fooled me. I was so busyremembering what it was like to be thirteen and eager to become a man that I didn’t even question it.”
“You…did you…?” I struggled to look down. My shirt had been cut to expose the slice up my side, but it was all neatly bandaged up. “How much did you see?”
“Enough to treat you.”
Fear clutched at my heart. He knew. He knew my secret. No one was supposed to know. No one was ever supposed to find out. My breathing came in short, rapid bursts and my thoughts all jammed together.
“You don’t need to worry,” he said, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I won’t tell.”
Right. Information like that was never safe. It was always sold. I had to get away. I had to escape. I tried again to rise, but Lochlan held me down.
Instant panic exploded in my stomach. “Let go of me,” I gasped, trying to pull away while my side seared in pain. “Don’t touch me.”
Lochlan released me immediately. “I just don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
I gasped for air and edged as far away from Lochlan as I could on the bed. “I don’t like being touched.”
“I can tell.” There was a strange expression in Lochlan’s eyes, almost like pity. “You’ll need to lie still and recover. It’s going to take a few days.”
I stubbornly shook my head. My throat was clogged and I kept cringing away from Lochlan, wishing more than anything that I could run far, far away. I’d had to leave Ebora because too many people discovered my secret for me to be comfortable. I couldn’t let the same thing happen here.
There was a rumble of voices as Peter and Roderick came back from whatever errand they’d gone on. I could hear their footfalls coming closer.
I turned my terrified eyes onto Lochlan. “Please don’t tell,” I whispered. As much as I hated it, I’d have to trust him. I couldn’t run.
“I won’t,” he promised, eyes shining with sincerity, then fear came over him. “You have to put on a new shirt.” He snatched up the closest one hanging out of a trunk and threw it at me. “Get it on. I’ll give you a little time.”
