Alma and Grace both turned and stared at him, both wide-eyed.
“Rafael—” his sister started.
“I’m serious. I’m sorry to say it like this, but if we’re going to be honest about everything, then I guess I should be honest about that.”
“You’ve never been with anyone like that.” Alma’s mouth turned down in a pout. “Maybe you do have feelings for her, but are you really ready for a relationship? She’s been wracked with grief, Rafa. Are you willing to take that on and promise you won’t cause her more pain?”
Rafael balled his hands into fists. To some degree, Alma was giving voice to his fears. He hadn’t ever cared for anyone like this before, and he wasn’t sure if he knew how to do it, but his defensive response hijacked all other trains of thought. “You’re not her babysitter, Alma. She’s not a child.”
“Would you both stop talking about me like I don’t have a say in this?” Grace said, her eyes gleaming with tears. “I know what you’ve done for me, Alma. I’d be completely lost without you. I honestly don’t know how I would have survived this year if I didn’t have you. But I can make my own choices, even if you don’t agree with them. Maybe you had to pick up the pieces last time, but I think I’m a little stronger now, and I meant it when I told you not to worry. I’ll be okay.”
Rafael watched Grace, trying to interpret what she was saying. Did this mean she was choosing him? That she was all in? Did she mean this thing between them was real, and she was willing to go for it?
“I need to go talk to Obinna,” Alma resolved. “So maybe you guys should work some shit out between you, and we can discuss this when I get back.”
“I don’t think we need to ask your permission,” Rafael said.
“Stop,” Grace said, clearly exasperated. “I do want her permission. Or her blessing at least.”
“My blessing for what exactly?” Alma asked, searching her friend’s face. “What is this to you, Gracie? You’re the one who said it wasn’t a big deal.”
Grace’s eyes went from Alma to Rafael, settling on him for a long moment. He didn’t think he took a breath the whole time.
“I guess that’s something we’ll have to talk about while you’re gone,” she admitted. “I’m sorry again, Alma. I—I didn’t want it to happen like this.”
Rafael unclenched his fists. His palms were sweating as he took in Grace’s words. It wasn’t exactly a resounding declaration. Just something to figure out.
Alma nodded. “Look, I had to come back for my toothbrush,” she said, moving toward the bathroom. “Just in case. I might not be back until tomorrow, and then we can talk again.”
Rafael watched Grace swallow. “I hope it goes well with Obinna,” she called out. “I think he really loves you.”
Alma looked back at her friend before sparing Rafael one last glance as well. He felt something in his insides twist. Alma teased him often enough, but rarely was she actually mad at him. He knew how deeply she cared about Grace. She would do anything to make her friend happy, and Rafael didn’t want to be in the middle of that. Perhaps he hadn’t given as much thought as he should have to their friendship. He didn’t want to come between them, but he also didn’t think he could. Whatever happened, he knew the two of them would work out anything. “I’m sorry, Alma,” he said. “I know you just want to protect her.”
She nodded, acknowledging his attempt to understand her point of view. “We’ll talk more later,si?” She sighed before she left the apartment again.
Rafael blew out a breath and turned toward Grace. “Is that how you saw that going?” he attempted to ask playfully, trying to lighten the mood.
Grace’s face was pale and unsmiling. She shook her head. “Not exactly what I was imagining.”
“What did you imagine, Grace?” Rafael asked.
“I need a glass of water,” she replied, brushing past him. “Or maybe a glass of wine.”
CHAPTERTWENTY-ONE
Grace satbeside Rafael on the couch with a cushion between them. It was better that they weren’t touching, then maybe she could keep a clear head. God, he’d said he wanted to be with her, and she’d just stood there like an idiot, unable to translate the sentence in her brain even though he was speaking English.
She didn’t know whether to feel elated or terrified.
Okay, she couldn’t help being elated, actually, because just look at him. He was beautiful and caring. He’d let her live with him. He’d conjured up a whole event for her students at a secret art exhibit. He’d trotted her around the city and held her in the night. He’d made her body absolutely quake with pleasure. If this man wanted more than just a good time, then it was a cause for celebration. Like, a marching band and a giant sheet cake kind of celebration.
But also, Alma was right. Grace knew Alma was right, because Alma knew her better than anyone in the universe. Grace had been a total mess of a human being, and she still was. She was completely vulnerable. Rafael could absolutely destroy her. All of those things were also true.
Maybe itwastoo soon. Maybe even entertaining the idea of dating her best friend’s brother should be entirely out of the question. She was already in over her head. How could she have a relationship with such a perfect human specimen? It didn’t seem real. She let out a little laugh at the thought.
“What?” Rafael asked.
She opened her mouth, searching for words. “It’s just—you’reyou.”
