She pressed her lips together, and Rafael couldn’t help staring at them. “I’m not used to being the one who’s getting thanked,” she said. “Usually, I’m the grateful one.”
“I’m aware of that. I’ve been bombarded with your gratitude. It’s very annoying.”
Grace nodded. “I’m trying to cut back,” she said, as if she was talking about an unsavory addiction. “It’s just that when you’ve been sinking into a dark hole for so long, it’s hard not to be wildly enthusiastic when someone reaches out a hand.”
Why did it hurt him so much to think about how miserable she’d been? He barely even knew her, but he hated it just the same. It wasn’t like that usually. Empathy wasn’t really one of his strong points, but for her he could feel the ache right in the middle of his chest. “I’m sorry,” he said, almost in a whisper. “About your dark hole.”
Grace surprised him by laughing. “You did not just say that.”
“What?” Rafael smiled, catching on. “My English is bad. You were the one who brought up your dark hole.”
“God, stop sayingholealready.”
He shook his head, eyes gleaming. “Hhhh—” he started.
She held up a hand, as if that would be enough to stop the word from escaping his lips. “Nope, your English is perfect, and I think you know exactly what you said.”
“It’s not my fault you have a dirty mind. It was an accident.”
“Sure, Raf,” she said as she shoved another bite of crust in her mouth and moaned. The hairs on Rafael’s arms stood on end.
“What happened?” he asked suddenly. “With you and your ex-boyfriend? Sorry, if that’s overstepping.”
Grace shook her head. “No, I think you’ve seen me miserable enough that it would be hard not to be curious.” She sighed and chewed a slow bite of pizza. “I don’t really know, exactly,” she said. “That was the worst part. We had so much in common. We barely fought. Everything was simple and easy, and it all made sense.” She licked a spot of sauce from her thumb and continued. “We met at a bar we both liked to go to for the happy hour specials. We both liked museums and hockey and indie rock. We had so much in common, but then… Maybe he just decided that wasn’t enough. Maybe it wasn’t. Looking back on it, I think we were kind of boring. I don’t know if something brought that to light for him, or if he’d been bored of me for a long time.”
Rafael stared at her, unsure of how to respond even though he felt some kind of nonsensical rage toward this man he’d never met. “How could anyone ever think you’re boring? You make everything more interesting. Every moment. That’s just—” He cut himself off, not sure what he was saying or if he should be saying it.
Grace’s mouth twitched. “Thank you,” she said. “For not thinking I’m boring.” She dropped her crust onto her plate and dusted off her hands.
“Finished?” Rafael asked, imagining it was best to retreat from wherever this conversation was going, best to ignore all the ways he found her the opposite of boring.
Grace nodded and swept up the trash.
“Good. Let’s go home.”
That night, sleep evaded him. He felt like he’d been lying in bed for hours, tossing and turning, straining his ears for any signs of Grace’s movement. She’d mentioned that she didn’t sleep much at night, though she did enjoy her “siesta naps,” as she called them, and he couldn’t help wondering if she was lying there awake, too, tossing and turning in her bed and thinking about the exhibit, about the cave, about him. Small exchanges from the day crept into his mind like little ninjas—her rolling her eyes at him when he tried to brag about anything, the feeling of her finger poking him in the ribs when he’d tried to suggest that some of Picasso’s art was mediocre. He shouldn’t have been so thrilled at the feeling of one fucking fingertip against his shirt.
He sighed.
For a long time, everything was quiet. Rafael was exhausted, but he also felt like his whole body was on-call, ready to jump out of bed at the slightest indication that Grace was awake. He wanted to see her. He wanted to talk to her again. They’d spent the whole day together, and somehow it wasn’t quite enough.
But as much as he strained, he didn’t hear a thing.
He foolishly considered getting out of bed. He didn’t need anything, and wandering around his room would only make things worse. He rubbed a hand over his face. Usually, he slept like a baby. Usually, he didn’t have some strange electric current that seemed to run right through him and into the hallway, tethering him to the bedroom right next to his own.
He picked up his phone and scrolled mindlessly. Alma would have scolded him and railed about the science of phone screens’ impact on sleep, but maybe it would draw his mind elsewhere, if only he could think about anything but the woman sleeping in his apartment.
He filled his head with futbol scores and meeting schedules and dinner menus. It was still a long time before he was able to calm the stirring thoughts in his head. He took slow deep breaths and tried to clear his mind, and after what felt like forever, his eyes drifted closed. Perhaps it wasn’t a deep sleep, not yet. Perhaps it wasn’t total oblivion, but he was calm enough that there was the hope of sleep, and for the moment, that was enough.
CHAPTERELEVEN
“Sorry,Gracie. The landlord said he’s been having a hard time getting the contractors in to finish the apartment. They’re so booked up.”
Grace sat cross-legged on Obinna’s loveseat as Alma handed her a mug of tea. “It’s okay. It’s just taking longer than I expected.” She didn’t think Rafael would mind her staying with him for a while longer, but she also didn’t want to get in the way. Just because he hadn’t tried to kick her out yet didn’t mean he would want her to stay indefinitely.
“I know. I can’t believe we can’t move back into our place yet. Although, I will say it’s been fun living here with Obinna. It’s like a sleepover every night, and we have so much fun talking. We’re both exhausted from staying up too late, but I like imagining this is for real. Like, this is what it might be for us to share a life.”
Grace puffed out her cheeks, shocked and elated. Alma had never said something like that in her life. “Who the hell are you?” she teased.
