I wasn’t sure how I felt about that conclusion, but I wasn’t about to argue with her.
“So your dad, Antoine’s, powers. You said that he can control people with his voice and then something about crows?” She glanced down at her notes before looking to me.
I swallowed then croaked out. “Yes.”
Talking about my powers still made me feel uncomfortable. Any other human who woke up and found that they could make anyone do anything they wanted just by commanding it might have been overjoyed. Running out into the world to right the wrongs or even get a bit vindictive about it.
If they knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of that power — how it could rob you of your very self — then they might not be so quick to jump to use it. Especially, not knowing how to control it.
Last time, it was crows that died. Then I almost killed Tate. I was in no hurry to use my powers again.
Unfortunately, if I didn’t use them, then I couldn’t learn to control them, and I could accidently get too emotional and actually kill someone.
Tabby lowered her notebook for a moment, her expression changing from researcher to comforting friend. “Hey, it’s okay.I’m here to help you. I know how scary it can be having powers you can’t control.”
She let out a self-depreciating laugh. “Not that I have any, but I have so many witch friends who came into their powers out of the blue and caused all kinds of havoc before they figured out how to control them. We’ll get you there, I promise.”
I blinked rapidly, nodding, unable to get any words out from the emotion overwhelming me.
“Alright then.” Tabby turned back to her notebook. “Since you came into your powers, have you discussed them with Antoine?”
I grimaced. “Not in so many words.”
Honestly, we’d only talked about it once — when he’d showed up at the academy and ripped everything I held dear out from under me in the name of protecting me. Since then, I’d pretty much avoided him.
Yeah, I knew it wasn’t just his decision, but a part of me still blamed him for my suspension from the guild and pulling me out of the academy. I knew it was his duty as the head of the household to make the hard decisions and even dole out punishment when needed. He was probably used to being hated for his decisions, even if they are good ones.
Still, I’d stayed away, which meant that we haven’t talked about my new powers that he’d so generously given to me through my mom and Darren.
Tabby stared at me for a moment, no doubt studying the implications of what I’d said. “It really would help if you would get with him and find out how exactly he controls his powers. Is it a mental thing? Or more of an emotional thing? Is it something else altogether?” She leaned back in her chair as she watched me. “You said both times you used your powers you were pretty emotional, right?”
I thought back to the time I’d killed the crows. How I’d been so overwhelmed by everything that I had lashed out at them. Ihadn’t really meant for them to drop dead. I just wanted them to leave me alone. Because every time I saw them, I thought of my parents watching me, not trusting me to be on my own.
It had all just been too much.
Almost immediately afterward, Tate had come into the picture and made everything ten times worse. So, yeah, I’d say I was pretty fucking emotional.
“I don’t know if it’s emotional for him,” I began, thinking to any time I’d seen him use his powers. “If it started that way, it’s not now.” I shifted in my seat, eyes flicking toward the library door. “Though hardly anything breaks his mask. I can count on my hand the number of times I’ve seen him genuinely smile.”
Nodding, Tabby scribbled in her notebook. “A cool customer. Gotcha. Still, it would be helpful to get his point of view. If you don’t want to talk to him alone about this, we could always bring him into one of our sessions—”
“No!” I cleared my throat and tried again. “No, it’s alright. I can talk to him on my own. Is that all for today?”
Humming to herself, Tabby tapped her pen on her notebook several times before setting it aside. “Okay, now, don’t freak out. But I want you to try to use your powers on me. Ask me to stand up and hop on one foot.”
“What?” My brows rose. “No. I’m not going to use them on you.”
Sighing, Tabby shook her head. “What did you think this was all for? If you don’t practice, then you’re not going to be able to control them. I’m giving you my consent to use your powers on me. So…” She gestured at me. “Go ahead.”
I sucked in a sharp breath, holding it for a moment.
Everything in me screamed not to do this. I didn’t know what I was doing. How this could go wrong. And then I’d have another person’s blood on my hands, something I’d been adamant about not doing since I started hunting.
“Jack,” Tabby drew out, watching me expectantly. “You can do this, Jack. I know you can.”
I blew out the breath and rotated my shoulders then my neck, wiggling my fingers just for good measure before I focused on the witch in front of me.
“Stand up and hop on one foot.”
