Fuming, I stalked back and forth across my bedroom floor. I didn’t care that my hair was still partly wet and would be a curly frizzy mess if I didn’t dry it properly soon.
I couldn’t believe Julian. How could he even think I was trying to use him to get over Tate and Kyren?
I wouldn’t do that. I mean, yes, this situation completely sucked. I wanted to be with Tate and even Kyren, if he ever got his head out of his ass and figured out that we didn’t have to let our parents or in his case sire’s actions define us.
Wanting them didn’t negate my feelings for Julian. He was my first and, until last year, my closest friend. Of course, my feelings weren’t as fresh and strong as they once were, but that didn’t mean they were gone completely.
Hell, if Julian wasn’t still fighting against what we had, I’d be with him, Tate, and Kyren. As weird as that might sound to some people — I’d never seen myself as one who would want multiple partners, that had always been my mom’s thing — I could see myself with all three of them, together, happy.
I sighed and sat on the floor crossed legged, rubbing a hand over my face.
Maybe I was deluding myself.
There’s no way all three of them would be happy to be with me together. Even if Julian and Kyren would accept being with me, the way Tate and Julian got in each other’s faces today told me it would not be an easy transition. I’d hate to see what Kyren would do in Tate’s position.
I stretched my legs out and laid back on the carpet, staring up at the golden chandelier above my room.
Part of me was madder at myself than Julian. Why did I keep putting myself out there to him, knowing I was going to get rejected? I was already feeling like crap about myself cause of the whole Kyren thing, but to let that show in front of the very man who had been rejecting me for years?
Humiliating.
Maybe I should just swear off all men until this mission was over. Or forever. Become a nun. A monster-hunting nun. Hell, I could have my own television show.
I chuckled at that.
Then I groaned, touching my curls. The thought of trying to contain them with a habit might be worse than the swearing off men part. Then there was the praying. Did you have to be a devoted Catholic to be a nun? Couldn’t I just be a big fan?
Blowing out a long breath, I sat up and prepared to get up and fix myself. I’d wallowed enough for one night.
Then there was a knock on my door.
Eyes narrowed, I scooched back toward my bed, and reached beneath, finding the dagger I’d hidden there. “Who is it?”
No one answered.
Pushing myself up to my knees and then slowly to my feet, I inched toward the door, dagger poised and ready. I focused on keeping my breathing steady, my heart from racing, a clear sign to any supernatural that I was aware of the danger.
Once I reached the door, I flicked the lock and stood to the side before turning the handle and flinging it open as I launched myself through the door, dagger prepared to attack.
My dagger came slicing down and I barely had time to register who was standing at my door and stop the metal from sliding home.
The smaller woman froze, her eyes wide, my dagger millimeters from her throat.
“Xinyi!” I relaxed, bringing the dagger back to my side, “Why didn’t you say anything when I called out?”
Xinyi swallowed visibly, pulling an earbud from her ear. “Is that how you answer all your doors?”
“Sorry.” I dragged a hand over my hair and stepped back in the room, letting her follow me. “I’m a bit tense.”
Xinyi’s gaze followed me. “I can tell. Does this have to do with why you were coming out of the teachers’ quarters earlier?”
I tried to school my face as I answered. “I needed to talk to a professor outside of office hours, and they weren’t home. That’s all.”
“Uh-huh.” Xinyi’s eyes slid over my body, no doubt taking in the male clothing I still wore. Suddenly, I wished I hadn’t had my little pity party and had finished getting ready for bed in my own clothes. Now I was going to have to explain what exactly I was doing in the teachers’ quarters to make me end up in male clothing.
“Look, I wasn’t do—”
“Let’s go out,” Xinyi cut me off, looking up from where she had been flipping through one of my textbooks.
