‘It’s been a radical day,’ he said with a wry laugh.
‘I know. It has. I feel the same as you, Mats, but we don’t need to go all in now.’
‘But I am all in,’ he said, suddenly feeling helpless. The rug had been pulled out from underneath him today and he was looking for something to cling to. He wanted it to be Lotta.
‘I am too. But let’s deal with one thing at a time.’
19
Seeing Mats’ face drop when she didn’t agree to drop everything and move to Norway now, which is what he was asking, was heartbreaking. But she had a lot on her plate with the Snug Oslo project which, even though it was coming together nicely now, had been exhausting to get to this point.
So although she would miss Mats like crazy, and she hated leaving him when he was at a low ebb, she was looking forward to going back to London to regroup and get on with the next part of the campaign. Now was not the time to uproot herself and commit to moving to Norway, not only a different country but an island in the middle of a fjord, and risk her own success by the distraction that would cause. But at the same time, it was starting to feel like it wasn’t out of the question.
Last night had made her think. It had been a long time since she’d thought about everything that had happened with Curtis, but seeing Mats’ reaction, his feelings of betrayal so visceral, it had come flooding back. She could still feel the cold wash of shame creeping over her when she found out that the man she’d trusted had stabbed her in the back. At the time, she’d felt as if it were her fault. He’d made her think it was her fault.
Looking back, it was hard to remember what had unravelled first, but her career and her relationship both came crashing down around her ears at about the same time. The person she’d trusted most in the world had betrayed her.
Now she looked back with pride at what she’d achieved. It had made her resilient, extremely self-reliant, and made her feel she could help Mats through how he felt now.
Mats didn’t know what to do with himself. He sat on the bed watching her pack.
‘This person who betrayed you, Lotta. He took your job?’
‘Sort of. We were seeing each other when he was promoted to be team leader and he said it wouldn’t make any difference, but he manipulated me into thinking the rest of the team thought I was slacking because I was with the boss. He suggested I leave.’
‘So that was the end of things between you?’
It should have been. But it wasn’t, because she hadn’t wanted to see the truth; that he was threatened by her.
‘No. Not then. But it prompted me to start my own business. It took a while longer for me to realise he was turning clients against me. That’s when it was over.’
‘God, Lotta.’
‘It’s okay. It’s all worked out for the best so I can’t resent all of that too much.’ Saying it out loud made her realise she had let go of a lot of the resentment she’d been holding onto. Perhaps finally being in a relationship where she felt supported and valued was helping to reshape the way she felt about how she’d got here.
Mats insisted on travelling to the airport by train with her. It would be so much harder saying goodbye to him while he was in this state at the airport; she would much rather have done it at the apartment.
‘Two weeks,’ she said, stroking his jaw. ‘It’s not long.’
He sighed and took her in his arms again. ‘Maybe I should come with you?’
‘You need to be here to sort things out.’ Not that she didn’t want him to come with her, but he had pressing things to sort out that now, he seemed to have no appetite for, even thoughbefore yesterday he’d have relished all of it taking him a step closer to the island. ‘Why don’t you get out of the city? Could you go and stay with Ida for a few days, maybe go to the island and reset.’
He nodded. ‘That’s a good idea.’
She hugged him again, whispered goodbye in his ear and kissed him before turning away and not looking back. If she saw his face, she knew she would end up staying. It broke her heart to see him like this; the feeling of betrayal so raw and all-consuming.
Although it was warmer than Oslo, London was grey and dismal, and her flat felt depressing compared to Mats’ place. But she had enough to do that it wasn’t long before she was engrossed in her campaign planning and started to see it all coming together.
The samples she had from Oda were all wonderful, and Lotta was glad it wasn’t up to her to choose which one it would be. She arranged a meeting for Thursday with Clemmie and the Head Buyer for Snug, Sophia, and they would decide. After that, she’d be able to get stuck into the detail.
Mats had texted to say he was in Bergen, at Ida’s. It was a relief to know he wasn’t on his own, wallowing in Oslo. Hopefully a few days at Ida’s, visiting the island, would help him leave that hurt behind.
By Thursday, Lotta had a structure for the Oslo campaign that was ready to plug in whichever of Oda’s pieces Snug went with. She’d also started work on a step-by-step guide that each store could use to walk them through the process of choosing a maker for their own collaborations. There was a lot that the stores could do themselves; it was only that Elin hadn’t, and as Lotta prepared the information, she felt confident she could take a more strategic role in the rollout across the group. She had to, or she’d drown in the amount of work there would be. As itwas, she was all too aware that once they launched with Oda’s collaboration piece and it was successful, because of course it would be, it would be go on the campaign as a whole and she’d be busier than she’d ever been in her life before.
‘This is too tiny,’ said Sophia, turning a small wooden trinket dish over in her hands. ‘The detail is okay, but for the collaboration we need an absolute showstopper.’
Clemmie looked awkwardly at Lotta, begging her to pull something out of the bag. After all the work that had gone into getting this far, neither of them were about to be derailed by Sophia being picky.
