His phone buzzed to say the drinks were ready.
‘I’ll go,’ said Ingrid. ‘You can fetch the food.’
They both got back to the table at the same time and settled themselves, arranging the food between them. Ingrid had ordered loaded fries and Mats had a ramen, and they shared a plate of spring rolls.
‘You must have something that can help you track this woman down,’ Ingrid said thoughtfully, holding a chip between her thumb and forefinger.
‘It’s fine. Forget I mentioned it.’
‘It’s the first time you’ve ever mentioned a woman to me. Ever. I wasn’t sure you were even bothered about finding someone.’
‘It’s not the kind of thing you talk about with your little sister.’
’Well. You don’t talk to Ida about it either, so…’
‘I can’t tell Ida stuff like that.’ He couldn’t tell anyone stuff like that.
‘Mmm. I get that. So what was it about Lotta that has you hooked?’ Ingrid’s eyes were shining and she looked genuinely interested rather than ready to make fun of him, which is how he imagined Ida would look. And he found himself wanting to tell her.
‘All the women I meet know who I am. They know I’m an investment banker, and they think I’m going to give them a lifestyle that goes with that. But I don’t want to keep socialising with rich people I’m not friends with, or spend thousands of kroner on a meal just because it’s the place to go. Lotta saw me. The me that wears jeans that are too old and the sweater Mama knitted that’s full of holes. And I don’t think she cared.’ He couldn’t be sure about that, and the more time that passed, the more he doubted whether that impression was correct.
‘Mats.’ Ingrid looked at him with wide eyes. ‘You really do like her.’
He looked at his sister, feeling now that he’d already given too much of himself away, and ate a forkful of ramen so he didn’t have to say anything else.
‘Mats!’
‘I did like her, but that’s the end of it now. Nothing to be done.’
‘No, you can’t think like that. If it’s meant to be, you’ll see her again.’
He grinned. ‘And we discover you’re the romantic in the family.’
‘Someone has to be,’ she said. ‘Come on, you have to believe in stuff like this or it’ll never happen to you. You need to lookfor the signs and grab onto love when it’s there. Otherwise, you’ll never notice and it’ll pass you by. That’s probably where you’ve been going wrong,’ she added.
Mats stared in disbelief that his youngest sister was actually giving him advice on finding love. ‘And this theory is working for you?’
‘It would, but I’m not interested at the moment. Too busy being a career woman,’ she grinned.
She reminded him so much of himself in that way. She was driven in the same way as he was; she went out and made a life she knew she wanted, just as he had. And even though he was ready to leave that part of his life behind, he remembered how it felt when he was Ingrid’s age. He wasn’t about to tell her not to leave it too late to look for these signs she believed in, that maybe it was better to aim for a more balanced life instead of focusing too much on her career. He wouldn’t have listened to anyone telling him that, and she shouldn’t either. All that mattered was that she’d managed to be happy again since losing their parents. It was something he’d worried about endlessly in the bleak months between their mother dying and their father never recovering from losing her before he slipped away himself. They were a close family, and it was always going to hit all of them hard, but he felt grateful to have had his parents for so much of his adult life and sad that Ingrid was on the other end of that. But what worried him most, and still did, was Ida.
‘I saw you had a feature on the cover this month.’ He bought a copy ofHei Oslo!every month and flicked through to find Ingrid’s byline. He only ever read her contributions and then passed the magazine to Hanne.
‘Crazy,’ she said, smiling and shaking her head. ‘It was just luck that I had written that article about how important it is to have friends of the opposite sex and then when the story cameout about Tilda Thorson and she ended up being on the cover, the stars aligned.’
‘Amazing, I’m so proud of you.’
Ingrid had tears in her eyes. ‘Thank you.’
He knew it was important for him to try to fill the void their parents had left in her life. He wanted her to feel that she was supported and loved as he had felt. With the five of them leading such different lives, it was difficult to be there for each other, but he lived closest to Ingrid, whereas he knew Ida and Fredrik both being in Bergen most of the time meant they inevitably were in touch more. Whereas Thea, well, she never seemed to need any of them.
There was a clatter as the barman dropped a couple of glasses and Mats automatically looked over to the bar. He could see the back of a woman with blonde hair piled on top of her head. He put his fork down and shuffled out of the booth.
‘What’s the matter?’
‘I won’t be a sec,’ he said, not taking his eyes off the woman but seeing that she was on her way out, leaving by the doors nearest the station.
He made his way as quickly as he could to the bar where she’d been, but by then she was about to leave through the door. If she went out into the night, he’d have lost her. Again.
