I dropped the magazine onto the table between us. “You have not exactly been forthcoming since you learned of his existence; I believe before your accident, we weren’t on speaking terms.”
He shook his head, sighing. “I was angry you didn’t tell me.”
“I did not tell anyone.”
“I’m not anyone,” he snapped. “I thought we were trusting each other now; I mean, all those years ago? Did you think I would hurt him if I found out?”
“No. I didn’t want you to know because I never planned on seeing him again.”
“Would you have told me if I didn’t find out?”
“No.”
He was clearly displeased with my response. “All right. Let’s get back on topic. Who pissed you off?”
Going silent, I thought about it.
Telling him what had bothered me 24/7 for the last two weeks would make it seem real. It would force me to admit that I have been thinking about it… abouther, and I didn’t want to because my gut told me I’d made the right decision, but my head, mind, and whole being wanted to seek her out.
It was unhealthy.
I was aching to once again be in her presence, know what she was doing at all times, keep her attention on me. I was longing for the only woman I couldn’t have. My addiction wasn’t fading. This wasn’t withdrawal; this was a full-bodied denial of my feelings and what I truly wanted.
Zahra had left a gaping hole inside me, and I was to blame for it.
“Elio?”
Casmiro’s careful tone of voice shoved me out of my thoughts.
“I was involved with Zahra. Romantically.”
I expected the silence that followed.
Casmiro’s stare was blank for about a minute before, haltingly, his brows drew together, and he frowned, his lips thinning.
“You were what?”
“I knew beforehand that she was involved with my brother, but she told me she wasn’t, and I believed her because I thought she was telling the—”
“Hold on, hold on.” Casmiro sat up, his hand supporting his torso. “Just double back for me. You fucked… you fucked that cunt?”
The flare of withheld anger that smeared the walls of my chest had me pinning him with a glower. “Call her thatagain, and I will shoot you and make sure you die this time,” I warned. “That’s not a threat. I will kill you if you repeat what you just said.”
He waved his hands dismissively, a tight frown on his face. “You fucked her?”
“Don’t put it like that.”
His eyes widened as he gestured wildly with his hand. “How the fuck do you want me to put it?” he exclaimed.
“It’s not—” I stopped, clearing my throat. “Itwasnot just the sex. There was something else.”
Casmiro frowned, blinking as if trying to understand what I was saying but failing to. “Something else, like… you had her sign an NDA or some sort of—”
“No, nothing like that. I meant, it wasn’t just physical.”
He backed up. “Wait… emotional? Feelings? You…” The confusion on his face morphed into concern, a grimace, and then disbelief. “YoulikeZahra?”
I frowned. “You speak of it like it is some sort of fatal illness to like her.”
