I clicked on the message icon next to the call button, which brought me to her numerous messages that I’d ignored.
I sent her ahello,and instead of aDeliverednotification to pop up under the text, it wasNot delivered, with a bright red exclamation mark.
She… blocked me.
I pressed my lips together, biting my tongue. My fingers trembled on the phone as another wave of coldness hit me.
I shouldn’t have said anything.
I left the message page and swiped right on her contact, my thumb hovering over the delete button. I didn’t want to click it. But it was the right thing to do. She had made it clear with this action where she truly stood.
I felt sicker than before.
Was the thought of being committed to me really that scary? Had I been mistaken when she confessed to me the day before?
But she was so sincere…
I sighed, swiping back.
I dialed Gemma’s number, and it didn’t ring before it saidbusy, which meant she was on another call. I waited a bit beforetrying again, and it clearly stated,“The person you are trying to reach is on another call at the moment; please try again later.”
I closed my eyes, releasing a hot breath from my heavy chest, a wave of dizziness taking over my head.
“Why are you surprised, my love?”
I froze.
The voice was right beside me, stressed and winded, soft and warm, familiar, too daringly familiar.
I opened my eyes and turned my heavy head to the side. She was seated at the center table, facing me.
My mother. Again.
My stomach turned, and I clenched my jaw.
“You thought they would answer?” A soft laugh left her. “They never answer, Elio, and nor will they ever. Not everyone is like you.” She smiled. “You have to know that the only people who ever truly loved you are just an action away if you would just take that step.”
I frowned. It was pained; I knew that because I felt it in my chest. Tight and choking.
I looked away.
“You don’t like seeing me,” she stated, and her voice sounded sad. “It shows in your beautiful eyes that you don’t. Is that why you won’t come to me? Because you hate me?”
I closed my eyes.
Not real.
She was not real.
“I am sorry, Elio. I know it will take you forever and more to get over what I did. But you have to understand… no… Iknowyou understand. You want to do it, too, burn it all, just like I did. You know exactly how I felt. I had to do it, just like you must.”
“Please leave me alone,” I said softly. “Please.”
“I was never there for you, Elio. You were always there for me; you never left me alone; why would I leave you now that you need me the most? Look at this place; it is empty. You’re soalone in this world. It saddens me to see you suffering; I want to be here for you.”
“No,” I croaked out. “You’re not real.”
“I am as real as you want me to be, Elio. You have no idea how long I have been waiting for you to let me see you like this,” she said, sounding so pleased. “There’s something I have always wanted to tell you.”
