“I would like to start a relationship with you,” he stated.
My lips parted, jaw hanging—I knew it was coming, I knew the kind of person he was, but I didn’t… Ah, fuck… This isn’t going to be pretty.
“You want…” I trailed off a bit, discomfort turning my stomach. “To… to date me…” I stated before adding “me” again, for clarification.
“Yes.”
“Wh—” I stopped. Breathing became a bit… not so flowy as I tried to grasp how the conversation had gone from manageable to this. “Elio—”
“This affair won’t continue if there is no title to tie it to, Zahra. I do not do affairs and secret rendezvous.”
“And I don’t do relationships; I have never done relationships, Elio.”
“It would be a first for me too.”
“Why would you want a relationship with me? What would you gain from it? I don’t understand why you would—”
“Because I like you, ver—a lot. And just yesterday, you said you returned my feelings, so… Two people with a connection like ours can either grow or dismiss it. I’m asking to grow it.”
I watched him for a moment, sighed, and shook my head. “I—This is—I’m not—”
“All I want is to title what we’re already doing; I am not asking for something new or something we’re not already doing, in case you misinterpreted.”
“I know what you’re talking about; it’s just—I can’t—There’s no easy way to put it—”
Something dimmed in his eyes as he pulled back slightly from me. “You’re rejecting me.”
“No.” I closed my eyes, opened them. “No… just, um, I mean, I don’t—I am not into labels and commitment and all of that serious shit.”
He drew away from me. “So you plan to be with other people while with me?”
I got down from the counter. “That’s not—” I swallowed. “I don’t know.”
He frowned in disappointment. “You don’t know? What—What do you mean, you don’t know?”
I was saying all the wrong fucking things.
“Elio, this is sudden, okay? I know you don’t do unlabeled things, but I’ve done unlabeled thingsallmy life, and I can’t—I don’t know yet what I would be getting into if I said yes.”
There was silence after that.
He nodded slowly. “What you would be ‘getting into,’” herepeated under his breath as if he were digesting my words. I could see the gears turning in his head. “With me? Or in general?”
“In general.” My eyes took him in, because why would he even consider this with me? “Can we just… revisit this, at a later time? I need—I need time to think, okay? That’s all. Time to think about it.”
“I understand if you want to reject my proposal, Zahra,” he stated. “It is probably for the best that you reject it. That was forward of me.”
“No, it wasn’t. At all. This is very new territory for me, and I really like you, a lot. You’re everything I never thought I would ever have… in a way, if that makes sense, so I don’t want to give you an answer now when my mind is… not functioning properly.”
He nodded.
I sighed. “Hey,” I said, cupping the side of his face. I inched higher to kiss him before pulling away and searching his eyes. “I already clarified that I wanted this, and I won’t let a label thing ruin it. I just need to understand it. That’s all.”
“Hm.”
“Don’t fucking ‘hm’ me right now. Communicate with actual words.”
“I don’t know what to say,” he responded.
