“Okay, Mommy,” Jack says in a loud whisper.
Levi nods solemnly.
I put my finger to my mouth and say, “Shhhh,” again. Then I push the cart toward the bread aisle.
“I see bread, Mommy!” Levi shouts.
“Shhhh!” Jack says to Levi.
“Oh yeah,” Levi answers him in a whisper.
“Get your finger guns out,” I tell the boys, keeping my voice soft and low.
They both make their pointer fingers into guns with their thumbs cocked and ready.
I pretend to sneak up on the bread.
They both explode into “Pew pew pew! Pow Pow! Bam Bam!” noises and I grab two loaves of bread and put them in the front of the basket.
“We got them, Mommy!” Levi says.
“We did. Now we have to hunt for milk.”
“I know where!” Jack says.
They’re not strangers to the grocery store.
“Okay, let’s sneak up on it,” I say. I crouch down just the slightest, my head just over the handle of the cart so I can see to steer. The boys make finger guns. I push our way down the aisle and practically bump into a cart rounding into our aisle. When I look up from my hunkered position, EJ is standing there, smiling down at me and the boys.
“Hey,” he says.
Levi lifts his finger gun and says, “Pew pew pew!”
I stand quickly, tucking a hair behind my ear. “Hey.”
I’m about to ask Levi to apologize to EJ for shooting at him when EJ clutches his heart and spins in place.
“You got me!” he exclaims.
I think that’s all he’s going to do, but he wobbles to the left and then the right, clutching his cart for dear life. Then he makes a dramatic gasping noise and buckles onto the floor in what could be the Academy Award-winning act of the decade. He lands on the dirty floor of the grocery store, seemingly oblivious to the grocery cart scuff marks around him.
My boys break into cheers and laughter.
“Do it again!” Jack shouts. “I want to shoot you dead, Mr. EJ!”
EJ cracks his one eye open from his spot on the floor and says, “I’m dead. You can’t kill me twice.”
“Awwwww,” Jack whines.
“Unless …” EJ says, obviously thinking on his feet, even though he’s flat on his back. “Your mom brings me back to life.”
“Do it, Mommy!” Jack says.
“Bring him back to life!” Levi shouts.
People are starting to stare. But my boys are happy and that can turn on a dime at this hour.
“Okay,” I say. “Um. What should I do?”
