Jeanie’s voice follows the bell. “Dispatch here. We’ve got a situation on Main Street.”
I grab my handheld and push the call button. “EJ here, Jeanie. What’s the situation?”
“Well, I guess Gladys is having her own personal parade down Main.”
“Her own … ?”
“She’s on her mobility scooter in the middle of the road. Traffic’s starting to back up.”
“Did you call the police?” I ask.
“I’m at the station, EJ—working the front desk. I’m married to the chief. All’s I have to do is turn my head and shout, ‘Hunny!’” She pauses. “He was called.”
I’m pretty sure this is not how it’s done in Columbus or Cincinnati. But we are what we are.
“Right. Well, did the police get called out? Are they on scene?”
“They’re there already. Gladys won’t budge.”
“Okay,” I say. “We’re on it. We’ll be right there.”
Weber, Truck and I quickly pull station pants on over our workout shorts, step into our boots, grab our radios.
“I’ll drive!” I say, running toward my pickup.
“I call shotgun!” Truck says.
I grab the dash light out of my glove box and speed toward Main Street.
About a block before we hit downtown, the backup of cars comes into view. The sound of horns and shouts carries through the open windows of my pickup truck.
I turn off onto a side street.
“We’ll have to hoof it from here,” I say, putting the truck into park.
We jog past a line of cars backed up the whole block.
When we get to the movie theater, I spot her—Gladys, puttering down the middle of the road on her mobility scooter. A bag of groceries propped under her chin.
“She can’t be going over five miles an hour,” Weber assesses.
“Five?” Truck says. “I guess it’s three tops.”
I approach Gladys.
People are honking and shouting. Fritz is about to get out of his car. I wave at him to stay put.
“We’ll get this handled. Stay in your car, Fritz.”
“I’ve got to get to work!” he shouts.
“Hang tight,” Weber tells him.
Chief Gene of the police department, Jeanie’s husband, is there, along with Jesse, one of the officers.
Jesse’s got his pad out.
“Looks like Jesse’s about to issue her a ticket,” I say.
