“You did.” River set a plate of toast down in the center, handed me a piece, and took the seat across from me. “Get some bread in your stomach.”
I nodded and took a few bites, just as Romeo set Meatball’s dish down on the floor beside the island, and he came to sit in the chair beside me.
“I shouldn’t have sent that. I was just having a moment.”
“You’ve sent that text two times in your life,” Hayes said. “I don’t think you were having a moment. I think something is up, and you’re trying to deal with it on your own.” He set down five plates and forks, and then Kingston walked over and scooped the eggs on a plate for each of us.
I was actually hungry, which was a good sign.
I took a few bites of food as they waited for me to fill them in.
“Is there a reason your dad isn’t here?” Kingston asked.
“Fuck. I don’t know.” I blew out a breath and looked up. “I don’t want to involve my parents right now. I don’t know where this is going, and we didn’t want to add pressure to the situation.”
“Pressure?” River asked, setting his fork down. “Are you in trouble? Legal trouble?”
I snorted. “No. Why would you think that?”
Romeo said, “You sent the first text years ago in the middle of the night when your father was spiraling. He’d fallen apart in front of you for the first time in your life, and you were worried. Things were bad. None of us knew if Emerson would be okay, and we rallied around them, and thankfully she came through it like a champ. And then you sent the text last night. Everyone’s healthy as far as we know, so we were worried you were in some sort of trouble.”
“Ride or die, Beefcake. We don’t judge.” Kingston raised a brow, and I saw the loyalty in each of their gazes as my eyes moved around the table.
“Jesus. No. I’m not in trouble with the law,” I chuckled, this sarcastic sound coming from me. “I’m in love with Gracie Reynolds.”
Romeo whistled. “It’s about damn time.”
“Why is this a bad thing?” Hayes asked as he popped some more eggs in his mouth.
Why did none of them seem surprised that I’d just shared that I was in love with Gracie? Clearly, I was the last one to figure this out.
“Well, it’s complicated. She was just staying here after getting out of a shitty relationship when she returned from Paris. She didn’t want to date anyone, so it started out as a casual thing that we kept between us,” I admitted. “We had a plan, and it was working well at first.”
River looked at me. “You’re lucky Cage didn’t hear about that, or he might’ve been the one to get in trouble with the law when he kicked your ass.”
“That’s the thing. It was never casual for me. Hell, I think I’ve loved her my whole life. But I was following her rules.” I rubbed my face. “She knew she was leaving. It wasn’t supposed to turn into something.”
“Well, it never is,” Romeo chuckled. “But you can’t stop the way you feel about someone. So what’s the problem? Did you tell her that you love her?”
“Yes.” I filled them in on all the details. How we’d decided to just see what happened after she’d left for New York. No rules. No plan. “And I’m fucked, because I’m miserable. And if I tell my parents what’s going on, and this doesn’t work out, they’ll be really upset. So I’m keeping it in. I mean, my friends know, but I’m trying to put on a brave face. But at the end of the day, it isa big fucking deal. I love her. She lives on the opposite side of the country, and we have no fucking plan. She might never come home. She might love it there. She might meet someone else and forget about me. Who fucking knows? I’m not the safest bet, so I wouldn’t blame her for moving on. I’ve never even had a serious relationship. I’d probably fuck it up.”
And there it was.
Was I going to press her to make things official when I knew she doubted I could be that guy?
That I could be the forever guy?
Romeo turned to face me. “Don’t say that. You are that fucking guy. You may have dated a lot of women over your adult life—hell, we all did. But this girl has always been the one. You called it back when you were a kid. You just had to let go of some of those fears, and allow yourself to love her. And you’re the most loyal dude I know, Cutler Heart.”
“Agreed,” Kingston said as he reached for his coffee. “No one is that guy until they meet that girl, you know?”
“Oh, we all know. And you had to go and pick my sister, didn’t you?” Hayes said to Kingston with a smirk.
“Fuck yeah. Best decision I ever made.” His tone turned serious, and he said to me, “If you love her, don’t let fear keep you from going all in.”
“And how do I do that?” I shrugged. “This is her dream job. She already followed the wrong guy to Paris. She wants to make this work. I’d be selfish to ask her to come back for me. I’m trying to do the right thing. Let her chase her dreams and hope she still wants me when she’s done chasing them. But what do I do in the meantime? Just sit around miserable, waiting to see what happens? I’m going out of my mind.”
“You’re not a sit-on-the-sidelines type of guy, Cutler. It’s not who you are.” River’s gaze locked with mine. “No more secrets. No more holding back. You love her, right? She’s your girl?”
