“What am I picking up on?” he asked, leaning forward now. “Is there hesitation in your voice?”
“What? No. Of course not. I couldn’t be more excited. This is the opportunity of a lifetime. And it means the world to me that you believe in me and that you want me back. And at the New York office. It’s an amazing opportunity. Especially after the way I left the first time.” My words were strained, my stomach in knots every time I thought about leaving.
“The way that you left?” He chuckled. “You gave me a month’s notice, you apologized profusely, you made sure all of your clients’ needs were met before you left, and you took a shot at love, darling. Mind you, he was a wanker, but you needed to find that out for yourself. I believe it’s all part of being a creative individual. Look at me: I’ve been in love three times in the last four months.”
Now it was my turn to laugh. “You do have all the big feelings, don’t you?”
“Always. And I wouldn’t change a thing. So tell me, are we worried about leaving the big teddy bear? I know how close you two are. And you’ve been living there and working together since you left Paris. I’m sure it will be hard to leave your bestie again. And he is one beautiful man, isn’t he?” He clasped his hands together and rested his chin there.
“He’s the best.” I shook my head, blinking several times, because even thinking about leaving Cutler made me emotional. “But he knows I’m leaving and he supports me.”
His mouth dropped open, eyes wide. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing. I just said that he supports me.”
“It’s in your eyes, darling. Oh boy.” He fanned his face. “You took a trip to Dicktopia, didn’t you? You went to Pleasuretownwith your best friend, and you liked it. I mean, who could blame you after your last lover. Gabriel is what I like to refer to as a cockissist.”
“A what?” I asked over my laughter.
“A cocky-narcissist. I can spot them a mile away. He was arrogant. Wealthy. Self-focused. I’m sure the sex was terrible.”
“You aren’t wrong.”
“There you go. So you went back to the small town that probably felt like home and you fell into the big, strong arms of the handsome bear who’s loved you your entire life. Of course you’d want to experience the good life. That man is all man. All. Man.” He raised a brow. “But now things are…complicated? We’re in a gray area?”
“Have you ever considered writing a romance book? You’ve got quite the imagination.”
“If I wasn’t so busy managing this business, I would definitely write erotica. I love me a sexy alpha.” He wriggled his eyebrows.
“Don’t we all.” I smirked. “But I’m fine. He’s fine. Everything is fine.”
“He certainly is.”
I covered my mouth with my hand to try to slow my laughter. “I just mean that we’ll figure it out. It’ll all be okay. We’ll just need to find our new normal. It’s been really nice here, and I’ve needed this. But I’m ready to take on this next challenge. You can count on me.”
His gaze softened, and I saw the empathy there. “You’re always so hard on yourself, Gracie. Listen to me. You come to New York, and I’ll be here guiding you. We have a great team in place as well. You design your ass off for a few months and you live in that gorgeous apartment, and you have your Carrie Bradshaw moment, living in the most amazing city in the world. And if it doesn’t make you happy, and you see somethingdifferent for yourself, I am the first person who will support you. You know that, right? No one is ever stuck, darling. Not at J&J Interiors. I will keep you for as long as you want to be here. But I’ve always known that you’ll branch off on your own someday. It’s what the most talented people do. Look at me?”
I couldn’t hide the smile on my face, because I was very lucky to have a mentor like Johnny. I also knew that I needed to do this.
I needed to stand on my own two feet after losing my stride for a while.
Being in Blue Sky Bay, being with Cutler—it was a safety net.
He had always been my safe place.
And I needed to prove that I could handle challenges.
I could face my fears.
Paris had been a huge setback for me, both in my career and emotionally. I’d lost my confidence, my mojo. I’d doubted myself more than I wanted to even admit.
And I desperately needed to reclaim that on my own.
To prove that I was still that girl who could do whatever she set her mind to.
I would regret it if I let this opportunity go because I was afraid of failing.
Because I was afraid of leaving Cutler.
