“My dad hasn’t had a relationship longer than one night in my entire life, so how the hell would you know that?” Lance narrows his eyes at me. “Wait, how long has this been going on?”
Oh, fuck him sideways. “Once again, I’m not the one who cheated! When the hell would I have even found time for that?” Between waiting tables, working my ass off to get my play produced, and trying to make our relationship work, I barely have two moments to string together.
He looks at me. At my face, for a change, for what feels like the first time in months. Then he sighs and his puffed-up indignation deflates. “Yeah, I know. You wouldn’t do that.”
Damn right, I wouldn’t. Even if I’d been secretly wanting to for years. Lance doesn’t need to know that, though. Even after everything he’s done, I don’t need to hurt him like that.
“For what it’s worth, I am sorry, Silas,” Lance says. “I don’t know how shit got all fucked up between us.”
Now it’s my turn to sigh. “It hasn’t been working for a while. We probably should have broken up months ago.”
He nods. “Probably. That guy doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t even know why I did it. I guess I just…” He stops and darts his eyes guiltily away from mine.
“Needed a quick way to dump me? Other than, you know, talking to me?” I’m still fucking pissed and he flinches.
He takes a step toward me and I take one step back. “I’m really sorry, Silas. I should have talked to you. I should have just ended it clean.”
“No shit,” I say, but he sounds sincere and the apology soothes a bit of my hurt. I think he might actually mean it. I mean, he’s a cheating douchebag, and he can sometimes be insensitive as fuck, but he’s almost never intentionally cruel. And he is capable of taking responsibility for his actions, apparently.
There’s a beat of silence between us, long enough that we can hear Logan moving around in his bedroom above us. Lance glances up at the ceiling. “I can’t believe you let my dad fuck you.”
“He’s gonna let me fuck him in return,” I say, because I’m a little shit and I can’t help myself. I don’t actually know whether that’s true or not—Logan might not be vers and I might not like doing the fucking as much as being fucked, but it’s worth it for the cringe expression on Lance’s face.
“Jesus, Silas,” he says. He covers his eyes with his hand as if blocking out the sight. “You know what? I’m just gonna pretend you didn’t say that.”
He hesitates and then asks, “Is this just for tonight, or are you…?”
I cross my own arms over my chest and just stare at him. It’s a fair question, I guess. Logan’s his dad and Christmas is next week, and if Lance is wondering whether he’ll walk in on the same scene on Christmas Eve…
You know what? I’m not inclined to reassure him on this point, even after his apology. But also, I have no freaking idea what happens between me and Logan after this weekend.
“Never mind,” Lance says.
There’s another awkward silence and then he runs a hand through his hair and gestures vaguely around him. “I actually came up to ask Dad if he would let you stay here while you figure out what you want to do. I know you’ve been staying at Chloe’s and she’s got all those roommates, so it’s gotta be crowded.”
That’s an understatement.
“And even if you’re pissed at me,” Lance continues. “And I deserve it,” he says hastily at my look. “Dad’s got all this space and you could still get back and forth to work on the train. And you know that whatever happens between us, Dad would take care of you.”
I cock a brow at him and he claps a hand over his mouth. “Oh my god, that is not what I meant, Silas.”
I just keep looking at him, and he’s looking back at me, and then his mouth twitches and so does mine, and we both bust out laughing. He bends over double and I slump to the floor and we’re cackling like loons. I’m surprised Logan hasn’t come to find out what on earth we could be laughing at under the circumstances.
Finally, I calm down and wipe tears from my eyes. Lance’s guffaws trail off to intermittent giggles. It’s actually a nice thought Lance had—to acknowledge that my relationship with his dad is a separate thing from the relationship we had—and to care enough about me to make sure I have a place to stay. Even if he’s the goddamn reason I have to move out of the place I thought I had.
“Yeah, well, I’ll come get the rest of my shit sometime next week.” I don’t know where I’ll put it, but Lance is right. Logan would probably let me keep it here for a while.
He nods. “Give me a heads up and I’ll be there to help. Or not be there, whichever you prefer.”
“Yeah,” I say. “Okay.”
We stand there for a few minutes, just looking at each other, and there’s really nothing else to say. Lance runs his hand through his hair and then says, “Okay. Well, I guess I’ll see you around, Silas.”
“Yeah.”
“Take care of yourself.”
I give him a smirk and he holds a hand up. “Nope, not gonna go there, dude. Don’t even.”
