‘The course has been great and I’ve learned a great deal, but unlike you I have no illusions that I’ll be offered a job in the MET once we’re done. I’m here because the Wicker witches need these skills to survive and thrive. We won’t sit around and allow ourselves to be victims of petty crimes without any chance of recourse. I’m here to make sure my coven remains as safe as it possibly can.’
I continued in bright-eyed, cat-lady mode. ‘Doesn’t the witches’ council investigate crimes against witches?’
‘Only when it suits them. They prefer to lay down their own laws and keep us in check. They’re jealous of covens like mine because they think we’ve got too much money and too much power. If any criminals moved against us, I doubt they’d raise a finger to help.’ She lifted her chin. ‘I will use what I’ve learned here to stop others from acting against us whenever they see fit. I’m doing it for my community.’
‘So am I!’ I told her earnestly.
‘Your community iscats. My community is important.’
She was very, very fortunate I was in a good mood and that I’d long since been trained in the art of staying calm under the most trying of circumstances. I reminded myself that it would be bad form to murder a fellow trainee simply for voicing her opinion.
I smiled sweetly. ‘You want to keep the streets safe for Wicker witches.’
‘Exactly.’
I leaned in and allowed my mask to slip for the briefest moment. Marie paled and stepped backwards. As she peered at my face, I knew she was wondering if she’d imagined what she’d seen there. ‘And,’ I added, ‘hopefully free of litter.’
Her eyes narrowed suspiciously but the return of my meek smile was enough to relax her again. ‘So, tell me, Kit, what fieldwork are you planning?’ she asked. ‘What will you investigate to put your newfound skills into action and prove that you’ve learned from this experience?’
We all had the same final homework task to complete: investigate a small local crime and present our findings to Captain Montgomery and the MET team, who would then arrest the culprits on our behalf, if the situation demanded it. After that we’d receive a formal certificate and badge that allowed us to conduct minor investigations across Coldstream.
In my opinion, it was essentially a paper exercise. As Marie had pointed out, even with training we hadn’t any real legal powers; all we’d done was a basic two-week course. But we might actually have a few new skills, and the fieldwork assignment was a good way for us to demonstrate what we had learned. I knew my fellow trainees were excited about the opportunity.
Fortunately, I had a prepared answer ready to go. ‘Graffiti,’ I said, with a touch of pride. ‘There are at least three different graffiti artists who are ruining the aesthetic of Danksville. I will find out who they are and stop them.’
Marie pursed her lips. She’d been expecting me to say that I was planning to investigate crimes against cats, so I played into her beliefs. ‘One of the graffiti bastards keeps painting images of dogs on local walls. It’s veryupsetting.’
‘How terrible for you,’ she said, maintaining a sombre expression.
‘Oh, it’s not terrible for me but it’s terrible for the cats who have to see such horrors every day.’
She stared at me, obviously no longer sure if I was being serious or not. ‘What about you?’ I asked, the very picture of innocence. ‘What are you going to investigate?’
‘Fraud. I believe a number of our suppliers are jacking up their prices and skimming the profits to our detriment.’
I pretended to care. ‘That’s terrible.’
‘It’s daylight robbery. And I will put a stop to it.’ She glanced up. ‘Speaking of daylight, the sun has already set so class will be starting soon. Shall we head in?’
I gestured to the door. ‘Lead the way, Miss Marple.’
Marie smiled for the first time during our conversation. ‘Amateur sleuths of Coldstream unite!’
Chapter
Two
There were eight of us in Captain Montgomery’s class. Besides Marie Wicker and me, there was a chatty leprechaun called Ruth, and a rumpled druid who went by Kevin (but who had confided in me on the first day that his real name was Tarquin). There was a representative from the witches’ council, who appeared to be attending purely to ensure that neither Montgomery nor his trainees got any uppity ideas above their station and who insisted that he was called by his formal title of Fetch Mayhew. We also had a young ogre with a penchant for martial arts called Randolph, a troll – Matty – who was very sweet but whose vocabulary of colourful swear words was unparalleled, and Alan the vampire whose presence was the reason why the training sessions took place once the sun had gone down. He’d barely spoken two words to anyone. We were certainly an eclectic bunch, if nothing else.
Naturally my reasons for attending had nothing to do with a desire to become a badge-carrying member of the MET; neither did I care about litter dropping or graffiti. If anything, I quite liked the street art that was popping up around Danksville. If my cats were unimpressed by it, or offended bysome of the subject matter, they’d not communicated it to me. Even if they were, I wouldn’t do anything about it. No, I was here because I regularly found myself working as an ad-hoc investigator of serious crimes and my lack of skills in anything other than assassinating targets in creative ways was becoming a hindrance.
After fourteen days of study, I wasn’t Sherlock Holmes and I couldn’t call myself Miss Marple as I’d joked to Marie, but I understood more about the art of investigating crime. I was more than satisfied with that.
Montgomery took his usual spot at the front of the class. I suspected that he was our teacher not because he possessed deep-seated beliefs in the value of education but because nobody else wanted the task. Whatever his reasons, I was glad he was there. I was growing surprisingly fond of the captain, even if he did have a truncheon rammed up his arse on occasion.
‘Good evening all.’ He didn’t smile. ‘I trust you are prepared for your final project and you know what to do and how to act. Criminality has no place on the streets of Coldstream. The rest of the country may look upon us as strange creatures imbued with dangerous magic, but we know that the opposite is true.’ He touched the centre of his chest. ‘It is our magic that keeps us safe.’
I wasn’t sure I agreed with that but I nodded and murmured ‘yes’ anyway, joining the muted chorus of my fellow trainees.
