‘Did you see that cat?’
‘What cat?’
‘A silver Maine Coon. It was right over there.’
‘We do not have time for this,’ she said. ‘We have to go now.’
I gritted my teeth. ‘But…’
‘Bye, Kit!’ Trilby called. ‘See you later! Give my best to Thane when you see him.’
Goddamnit. I turned my head to see them wave me away and then they were swallowed up by a group of vampires perusing their stall while Lady Penelope continued to propel me in the opposite direction.
Chapter
Six
‘Icannot condone this stubborn behaviour,’ Lady Penelope muttered as we marched in quick time towards a varnished red door set into the side of the large cavern. ‘I was starting to think that you were not as dreadful as I had anticipated, but now I fear that you are far worse. When I tell you to move, you move.’
I halted mid-step and dug in my heels. ‘Enough,’ I barked.
Her eyebrows rose. ‘Enough? How dare you?’
And to think that less than five minutes ago we’d been bonding over a shared appreciation of romance novels. I folded my arms. ‘I am here to help you. I didn’taskto come to the Understream, I wastoldto come to the Understream.’
‘Only because you want to pass that silly course and become a Minor Investigator. As if Minor Investigator means anything to anyone. You are as bad as Alan.’
She might have had a point but that didn’t mean I was going to agree with her. ‘You’re the one with the problem with missing worms, not me. And it’s not a silly course. It teaches valuable skills.’
‘How about the skill of listening to your betters?’ Lady Penelope asked. ‘That doesn’t appear to have been covered.’
‘You know,’ I remarked, ‘I don’t tend to get angry very easily but you’re proving the exception to the rule.’
The red varnished door swung open and a bespectacled vampire blinked at us owlishly. ‘Well, this little venture is going as well as we expected,’ he said in a level voice. ‘Are you planning to come in, Ms McCafferty, or storm off in an adolescent huff?’
I’d been here less than an hour and I’d already had enough of vampires, but I wouldn’t let these bastards grind me down. They wanted me to leave; they were probably praying deep in their cold, vampiric souls that I’d take sufficient offence to demand to be escorted to the outside world as quickly as possible.
I inhaled deeply, dropped my arms and plastered a sugary-sweet smile on my face. I was Kit McCafferty; I didn’t throw tantrums, no matter how much I was goaded. ‘In your ancient eyes,’ I murmured, while Lady Penelope gasped with outrage, ‘I imagine I will always be considered an adolescent. Let’s get this over and done with.’
He gave me a long, expressionless look. ‘Very well.’ He stepped back. ‘Welcome to the Suite for Bureaucratic Affairs. We are thrilled to welcome you.’ He didn’t smile and his eyes didn’t twinkle. His voice was as flat as I imagined the Maine Coon would be if Dusty ran over him.
I chose to match his tone but maintain my saccharine smile. ‘Great. Lucky me.’
The vampire’s expression didn’t alter though Lady Penelope sighed at my lack of deference. The woman was a veritable dictionary of idiosyncratic huffs, puffs and breathy tuts.
‘Do come in,’ the male vampire intoned, still without a trace of emotion.
I stepped across the threshold and looked around. The Suite for Bureaucratic Affairs was like any other office: bland, beige and uninspiring. Strangely, that reassured me because it felt normal, but then I reminded myself that nothing about vampires was normal. That knowledge was reinforced by a poster on the wall of an idyllic beachfront somewhere in the Caribbean. Even a fraction of that sunlight would fry a vampire within a heartbeat.
‘What should I call you?’ I asked, turning towards the man.
‘Sir,’ he said, utterly deadpan.
Ha. Ha. I waved a hand airily. ‘That’s so dehumanising. I much prefer a name. I’ll call you BS.’
For the first time, emotion flickered in his red eyes. I’d irritated him. Good. ‘BS?’ he asked coldly.
I grinned. ‘Short for Bureaucratic Suite.’ I knew that I should stop provoking him now that I’d received confirmation he wasn’t completely dead inside, but I was starting to enjoy myself.
