“None.”
“And you’ll do everything in your power to ensure she remains unharmed?”
“I swear it.”
“And when she’s queen, you’ll ensure she’s protected from all threats? Internal and external?”
Tairna huffs in mock exasperation, and the familiar sound tugs at my lips. “Yes, Vayru, I will.” She studies me with narrowed eyes. “So much concern for your wife. Tell me, then, why have you spent every night up here instead of in the room with her? What happened between you two?”
“Nothing. We’re not … anything.”
She clicks her tongue. “I don’t need to be a truthwielder to know that’s a lie. You love her. It’s written clear as the Flames onyour face. And Sauzon told me how much you care for her. You threatened to lash him, apparently.” She chuckles lightly. “And she loves you, Vayru. So why are you up here?”
“Shedoesn’tlove me, she—” The words die in my throat.
I don’t know what to say. What words could possibly express the chasm between us? Broken trust. Political schemes. A marriage that was never truly a marriage—not to her at least.
“Vayru,” Tairna murmurs. “You can tell me.”
So I do.
The words spill from my lips. I tell her about the journey back from Tundrayn and the rebel attack on our entourage. How we traveled alone through the frozen tundra. Tairna flashes a knowing look when I tell her we had to share my cloak for warmth. I tell her it was the longest I’ve ever gone in my life without my neck prickling.
“I thought she never lied,” I whisper, my voice hoarse. “When we arrived at the palace, you already know that my father proposed she marry me in the hopes that she’d call off the alliance. He was furious when we agreed to marry each other.” I swallow hard, and Tairna squeezes my hand. I find the strength to tell her about leaving for the border and coming back to find her with another man.
“He—he was her friend. Her lover. They were planning to poison everyone at the Equinox Festival. I think … I think she was always planning to return to him.”
“Oh, Vayru,” Tairna whispers. “I’m so sorry.”
“I killed him. Right in front of her. And she attacked me.” My voice splinters, unwilling to speak Mayah’s secret—one she’s guarded her entire life.
But I can’t bear the pain alone any longer. Tairna’s soft eyes, her hand clasped in mine, coax me to reveal the truth. “She’s a waterwielder, too. That’s when I realized my truthwielding didn’t work on her. That she’d been lying the entire time. Thatnothing between us had been real.” I manage to tell her about taking her captive, then becominghercaptive in the Tundrayni camp. About how Mayah learned it was Tormik that killed her mother, not Arbinj.
Tairna doesn’t speak for several minutes, her face etched with contemplation. “From what I’ve seen from her, Vayru, she cares for you. Deeply. Yes, she came to Arbinj with the intent to overthrow the kingdom. But is it possible she still developed feelings for you? Mayah believed Arbinj was responsible for Meerah’s death—she wanted revenge. Now, I’m certain she feels differently. She’s hurting for you, Vayru. And I can see you ache for her. Is there any way you can forgive her?”
My eyes burn, but I blink back the tears. “No. And even if I could, I can never trust her again. I’ll pull her close, only to push her away when I remember what she did. I’ll—I’ll spend every second wondering if I’ll return to find her with someone else, I—fucking Skies.”
I angrily wipe the fresh tears that have escaped. Tairna rubs my shoulder, and despite myself, I lean into her comfort.
“She must be a shield,” Tairna says, more to herself than to me.
“I’ve considered that. But she already has two wielding affinities. It’s impossible to have three.”
“Faraehzon had all of them,” she points out with a small smile. “Or have you forgotten your favorite bedtime story?”
“Faerahzar,” I respond, my lips twitching, “is a children’s tale.”
“Hmm,” Tairna muses. “Well, then the alternative is that she never lied to you. Thingswerereal.”
“Impossible. She’s a waterwielder. Who was planning a violent coup. And I spent months with her and had no idea.” Bitterness coats every syllable.
Tairna sighs. “Just think on it, Vayru. Yes, she made mistakes. Big ones. Horrible ones. But you love her still. That must count for something.”
It doesn’t.
It doesn’t. It doesn’t. It doesn’t.
For a truthwielder, I tell an astounding number of lies.
