Something pulls at my heart, sharp and insistent. My hand shoots out, fingers curling around his bicep.
“Wait! I—” His steely gaze rakes over me, and my breath catches. “Iwantto, Zev. Truly. It’s just … even with our marriage, the situation is tense between our kingdoms. Your family still doesn’t trust Tundrayn. I’m afraid. Of being hurt. Of hurtingyou. I just need more time.” I press his palm to my cheek, willing him to see the truth in my words.
His eyes soften, lips parting on a deep exhale. He nods once more, brushing a kiss to my forehead before striding away.
Chapter Forty
Zevdoesn’tcometobed that night.
Or the next night.
At first, I assume he’s angry with me, but on the third day, he arrives in the infirmary by early afternoon.
Sauzon quickly makes himself scarce.
“Hi,” I greet tentatively, twisting the sleeve of my gown.
He crosses the room in three long strides and pulls me into his embrace. I release a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
Relief floods through me, sharp and unexpected. The fear that I’d pushed him too far, that I’d ruined this fragile thing between us, had wrapped around me like a noose. But here he is—solid and warm. I melt into his arms, trying not to tremble.
“I’ve missed you,” he murmurs, drawing back to look at me. “Do you have time for a walk?”
Sunlight dapples the grass in shifting patterns as we wander through the gardens where we were wed. The air is crisp, leafy trees standing like sentinels around us, their branches heavy with golden leaves that rustle and drift.
“The Rebellion has waged three attacks in three days,” Zev tells me, his face drawn tight. “All on Arbinji bases.” He doesn’t say anything else, but the unspoken meaning is clear.
“Do you think Tundrayn is involved?”
“My father and brother do,” he admits, raking his teeth over his lower lip. “I’m not sure. Your father would be a fool to attack Arbinj while we have his daughter.”
I stiffen, footsteps faltering, and Zev quickly stops, stepping closer to cradle my face. “Hey. You know I’d burn down all of skiesdamned Arbinj to protect you, right?” A tender kiss brushed across my forehead. “But your father doesn’t know that.”
His words soften my heart, but still, my gut churns with worry. If the attacksarethe work of the Rebellion, what will they do next? Attack the palace? Attack Tundrayn?
And if my fatherisinvolved, what does that mean for me?
“I don’t like being so far removed from what’s going on.” Bright yellow leaves crunch beneath my boots. “I want to attend council meetings with you.”
Zev winces, casting me an apologetic glance. “I swear by the Skies, Mayah, one day you’ll be beside me wherever I go.”
“But?” I prompt with a scowl. I try to unlace our fingers, but he refuses to relinquish his hold.
“But my father and brother already suspect Tundrayn’s hand in these attacks. And if they continue—which I’m certain they will—they’ll see you as a spy, feeding them information.”
I worry my lower lip between my teeth. Tides, he’s right. “What about your brother’s marriage to the Volcan princess?” I ask.
“Still up in the air. Their emissaries left weeks ago, but their queen still seems unwilling to ally with a kingdom plagued by Rebellion attacks.”
“I can’t blame them. Volca actually treats nonwielders fairly. Maybe if Arbinj and Tundrayn did the same, the Rebellion would leave us alone, too.”
“Maybe,” he murmurs. A shadow passes over his face. Zev is silent for the rest of our walk.
I snapFaerahzarshut with a stifled yawn—at last, finally finished. The thought of a young Zev curled on this very sofa beside his mother, rapt at tales of bravery, softens something in my heart.
I stretch, a wince tugging at me as the ache in my legs flares from the long day in the infirmary. My palms hover, glowing faintly, about to press healing warmth into the sore muscles, when the door opens and Zev steps into our chambers.
He stills, eyeing my glowing hands.
