“We can still be friends?” I offer instead. His shoulders stiffen. “After the wedding. We’ll be … family.”
That’s why he’s upset, isn’t it?
Because I’m going to marry his brother.
In my heart, I know he doesn’t want me to.
Tides,Idon’t want to.
But I must.
I didn’t risk everything, leave my home and my people behind, only to fail them now.
“I need to tell you something,” he says, his voice low, eyes riveted to the ground. “And you’ll hate me for it.”
“Bold of you to assume I don’t already hate you.” I smile brightly, but my teasing words don’t have the effect I hoped.
He doesn’t smile back.
Instead, he takes a deep breath and shatters my heart.
“Your friends. Sura and Tumaas. I killed them.”
I blink.
For a minute, I just stare at him, mouth parted.
Then, the ground shifts beneath my feet. No—it’s my legs buckling. My knees hit the cold earth. Nausea churns in my stomach like the roiling sea. My powers flicker inside me, wanting to hurt, wanting to heal.
I killed them.
I killed them.
I killed them.
His words bludgeon my conscience, rattling in my skull.
I don’t know why I’m shocked. I’ve already blamed him for the death of every Tundrayni in the war—the faceless, infamous Dark Commander, bringer of storms and blood and death.
But now that I’ve grown to care for him, to hear him say the words—I killed them—it’s as if he’s rent my soul in half. And the way he’s looking at me now, anguished gray eyes shadowed with remorse, somehow makes it hurt worse.
He’s not the cold, ruthless killer I always imagined.
He’s known loss, too.
My eyes fall to his hands—steady, strong, careful—and imagine them wreathed in lightning, raised against my friends.
Soft-hearted Tumaas.
Radiant, kind Sura.
I want to lash out. I want to scream.
But I do neither.
“How?” My voice is a low rasp.
He swallows hard. “It was after the battle where Lev was killed. I remained at his side until he died, and … Mayah, it broke me. I had never felt such fury. I never did again until…” He inhales shakily as if gathering strength. “I—I went alone. Followed that battalion back to their camp. And I obliterated it.”
