He shakes his head. “The doctor said we probably won’t hear from him for at least a few more hours.”
Not sure if that’s better or worse than just knowing immediately what his fate is. Probably worse because no matter how hard I try to squash it down, there’s still a flutter of hope in my chest thatmaybehe’ll survive. When the inevitable happens, it’s going to crush me.
I must make a sound because Alex’s arms tighten even more, almost cutting off my ability to breathe as he presses a kiss to the top of my head. “You’ll get through this, sweetheart. Me, Theo and Rhys will be right here for you, I promise.”
I should be annoyed that Alex included Rhys in that statement, but I’m not. Something changed between us last night when he cupped my cheek and told me he was going to make the ones responsible for last night pay. There was a fierceness in his amber eyes, a silent promise that he’ll do anything to keep me safe and make me happy.
The part of me that’s been reluctant to cross the line with Rhys after how he acted at the barn is gone. Obliterated thanks to the hard work he’s been putting in. He’s defended me multiple times, and last night he offered me comfort and justice.
We’re definitely more than friends. But with everything going on, now isn’t the best time. Judging from the way Rhys stands slightly apart from the three of us with his hands in his pockets and a wariness in his eyes, he agrees. Or maybe he’s having second thoughts…
Just the thought is enough to have my stomach squirming with nausea. I squeeze Alex once before untangling myself from him. “I’m going to go see Bean and maybe go for a ride.”
Alex clenches his jaw and I can tell that he wants to say something, but a sharp look from Theo has him staying quiet.
“Alright, princess. I’ll come find you as soon as I get word from the doc about Andy,” Rhys says, a knowing look on his face.
I swallow hard and nod. “Thank you.” We all know I’m thanking them for more than just promising to tell me the moment he hears news. From the moment we met, they’ve been nothing but patient and havedone so much for me. I have no idea how I’ll ever repay them, especially since a part of me feels I don’t deserve them.
“Of course, baby. We’ll always be here for you,” Theo murmurs as he presses a kiss to my forehead before stepping back.
I offer them a small, sad smile before walking away towards the fields, Harlow pressed against my side.
The fields are mostly empty of people, save for a few workers who are hauling bales of hay around for the animals. They don’t spare me a glance as I pass them to the field where Bean and the ponies live. The moment I step up to the fence, the black and white mare snaps her head up and nickers at me before trotting towards the fence. The other two ponies snort in my direction before stuffing their heads back into the hay.
Something unclenches in my chest at the sight of Bean coming towards me and tears sting my eyes. “Hey there,” I say in a distinctly wet voice as the mare pushes her nose into my chest and sighs. “I missed you, too.” I stroke her nose and head as the first tears fall.
At some point, Ketchup joins us, cawing softly in my ear as she perches on my shoulder. My eyes flutter closed, and I sink into the feeling of being surrounded by my animals.
There’s something so comforting about animals that you just don’t get with humans. They never judge you or insult you. They just exist with you, giving you companionship without the complications that can come from people. It’s freeing.
And exactly what I need as the guilt of Andy’s impending death eats away at me.
Same Page
Alex
“Idon’t think Ollieshould be left alone,” I say as I watch the woman I’m obsessed with walk away, sadness and guilt practically radiating off her.
Theo pauses mid-sentence of whatever he was saying to Rhys about improving security protocols to frown at me. “That’s not your choice to make, Alex.”
I know that, but it doesn’t stop the nauseating feeling of dread from writhing in my stomach. Or the bone-deep fear that something will happen to Ollie the moment we let her out of our sight. She’s drowning in her guilt over what happened to Andy and I’m terrified that it’ll make her do something stupid.
Like ending the relationship between us.
I understand that it’s just my own fears from my past rearing their ugly heads, but I can’t stop it. My hands clench into fists as I scowl at Theo. “How can you say that? She’s obviously not in the right mindset to make good decisions. What if she does something stupid or dangerous? Or she realises that this relationship isn’t going to work between us?”
God, even just mentioning that is enough to have the blood draining from my face and my throat tightening with panic.
Theo appears in front of me, Rhys standing behind him. Both of them are wearing concerned expressions on their faces as they watch me lose my shit.
“Alex, breathe for me,” Theo says, his voice taking on a soothing tone that he uses with Ollie when she has her panic attacks. He places his hands on my shoulders and squeezes.
The sensation is grounding, but it doesn’t lessen the panic clawing at my chest or the blood pounding in my ears.
I don’t want Ollie to shove me aside like Willow did. It’ll kill me, especially if she does it thinking she’s doing us a favour. Or that she’s not good enough. She’smorethan good enough; she’s amazing. And so brave and smart and beautiful.
Another set of hands join Theo’s, this time grabbing the top of my arms. They clench tightly, nails biting into my flesh. The pinch of pain gives me the chance to suck in a sharp breath. They tighten again, and I breathe in another breath. Over and over until the panicked haze fogging my brain dissipates. I blink to see Theo still standing in front of me while someone else—Rhys—presses against my back.
