I hate you so much it makes me itch; it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you’re stubborn. I hate it when you shave. I hate that I want to forget you, even worse, that it’s you I crave.
I hate that it’s over, and the fact that you didn’t text.
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, in this life or the next.
-Starlight
He literally rewrote Kat’s poem fromTen Things I Hate About You. But for me.
“Fuck.”
I put my hand over my mouth, my heart cracking apart all over again. He said he always felt unwanted, but it’s never been true. I’ve wanted him in one capacity or another since we were little boys on the beach.
The sudden urge to seek him out is strong. I want to claim him as mine in front of everyone—like at the end ofWhen Harry Met Sallyor something equally ridiculous. The very idea of such a public display sounds awful, but maybe it’ll make me worth forgiving.
I mean, at this point, I have nothing to lose.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
MARCUS
It’s evening when John’s car pulls up to our condo to take me and my brother to Skynet. I stare down at my gray three-piece suit, hoping to god that I never have to wear it again. John is dressed similarly with his dark hair slicked back, and he’s holding a black leather briefcase. It’s a little disconcerting seeing him look so businesslike. I’m used to John the dad.
I text Sabrina that we’re on the way, and she sends me a winky-face emoji as John’s driver starts the trek over to Bellevue. I tug at my collar, feeling itchy as usual. Seb is staring at his phone as he texts away, his lip curled in a small smile.
“You’re nervous,” John directs at me.
“Yeah, I just want this to be over with.” But also, we’re about to confront two very dangerous men, so my brain has been spiraling with all the worst case scenarios.
John looks between us. “You guys are about to blackmail your father. How’re you both feeling?”
“Like I couldn’t care less what happens to that asshole.” Seb’s voice is rightfully saturated with resentment and venom.
I sigh. “You know, I loved him a lot more than he deserved. I forgave him. Made excuses for him. I wanted him to be proud of me.” My eyes water, and I blink. “I feel so stupid now. Skynet’s money raised us. It put me through college. It funded so many milestones in our lives. And. . . it was also responsible for killing people. Innocent people. It’s just so fucked up, and I’m so angry.” I look out the window, trying to regain my composure. Seb’s hand lands on my knee with a gentle squeeze.
The silence is heavy until John finally speaks. “Honestly, I think everything we found was a bit serendipitous,” John says.
“How so?” Seb asks.
“As you know, I’ve dealt with Ryan and Martin before,” he says wryly. “They have countless connections and deep pockets, and they won’t back off unless you have something on them.” He taps his briefcase. “We’re speaking their language. Building this blackmail case against them ensures your father will be out of your lives for good.”
“How are you so certain?” Seb asks, worrying his bottom lip.
John sighs. “I experienced it firsthand.” He glances at me. “Uncovering what happened to Jeremy’s parents was the last straw for me. Jeremy’s mom and dad were both on Skynet’s board, and Ryan orchestrated their accident after they decided they wanted out.” He looks between us. “You boys may remember that I was on the board at one time, too.”
Seb and I exchange a look. We always suspected as much, but after the extramarital affair between John and our stepmother, it seemed like irrelevant information.
Seb raises an eyebrow. “And you escaped unscathed.”
John looks uncomfortable and nods. “Exactly. Knowing what I know now, it feels like I got off easy.” He gives me a sad smile. “Your dad was one of my closest friends for a long time. Your stepmother and Allie, my wife, were inseparable. I knew a lot about Martin and Ryan from all the way back when we werein college together. When everything came to light about me and Ellen . . .” He swallows and looks away.
“It’s fine, John,” I say quietly. “It was almost five years ago. We’ve gotten past it.”
He nods and continues. “Well, let’s just say Martin was rightfully pissed and wanted me out. So he and I came to an agreement that involved the movie theater and a lot of money. Ryan was livid about the exchange, but I had dirt on them and they had dirt on me, so we called it even and parted ways.” He looks at me, determination in his eyes. “I realize now that I got lucky. I want Ryan to pay for what he did to Jeremy’s parents—what he probably did to a lot of other people.”
Seb’s lips tighten. “The way he treated his own son was un-fucking-forgivable.” He cracks his knuckles with a manic look in his eyes. “Do you think I’ll get to hit him again?”
