“Yeah?”
“You’re under a lot of stress right now. I’ve got this. Go home to Jeremy and try to relax.”
I stiffen. “What?—”
“Look, I may be an old guy, but I’m not blind. I saw it when Lincoln, Charlie, and Trey got together—that spark. You two have it. I’ve been in love twice and never got my happily ever after because I was a selfish moron.”
A family walks past me on their way to the aquarium, the little boy babbling about otters, and I turn away and step closer to the railing, lowering my voice.
“I think he’s angry with me,” I say, deflated. “He’s tired of being a secret, and I can’t blame him. He knows about the shit with my dad. He knows why I can’t be out yet, but it still hurts him. Plus, I was going to tell Seb and Charlie when we were all at her house, but I choked, and then the shit with Dennis happened. Now everything just feels all fucked up.”
“Do you love him?”
“I think so,” I say quietly.
“Have you told him?”
I hang my head. “No.”
John’s voice is kind when he replies. “I’m going to give you the same advice I gave Link a few years ago: Tell Jeremy the truth about how you feel. Worst case, you lose him, but if you don’t tell him, you’ll lose him anyway. The difference is whether your honesty makes you redeemable.”
My eyes feel hot with unshed tears. “It’s good advice,” I say, my voice rough with emotion. “I’ll consider it. Thank you, John.”
I hang up and lean my elbows on the rough wood of the railing. Gulls coast on the salty sea breeze, squawking as they dip and sway. The vibe down here is ominous, like everything else in my life.
I need quiet. I need peace. I need Jeremy.
I walk back up the street, texting Jeremy to meet at my place after his yoga class. I need to blow off some steam, which means pottery and sex, not necessarily in that order. Just as I’m about to put my phone away, it buzzes. I expect a reply from Jeremy, but see a message from Norah instead.
Norah
Hey love. I know it’s last minute, but James and I are going to a concert in your neck of the woods. Would love to see you and introduce you to my guy.
I bite my lip to hide the smile threatening to take over my entire face. I can’t reply fast enough.
Of course I want to see you! When will you be here?
Norah
Friday
I chuckle because it’s so like Norah to just drop everything in her life and show up on a whim. I’m glad she found someone who’s obviously in sync with her free spirit.
Consider it a date.
Istop in front of my building as I think about my next reply. Maybe this is my chance to make up for some of the mess I made. Charlie is out of the country now, and Seb’s preoccupied with Fiona’s recovery, so it’s not the right time to talk to them about Jeremy or my sexuality. But as little as we see each other, Norah is like family to me, so maybe this is my chance to make Jeremy feel validated without completely blowing my cover.
Do you want to meet my boyfriend?
The little conversation dots appear and disappear several times before she finally replies.
Norah
Do you even know who you’re talking to, or do we need to get reacquainted?
Norah
Obviously, I want to meet him, I’d be openly offended if you didn’t introduce us. Please tell me it’s the adorable boy you used to stalk with the red streak in his hair? If it is him, you know I called it, and now you owe me that little favor. . .
