But he did still want to fuck Luca—to try it out, at least—so he couldn’t get too maudlin here.
“Maybe you could give me some recommendations,” he said instead. “Of some good fantasy books to read.”
He hazarded looking at Luca again when Luca didn’trespond. His mouth had evened out, turned serious looking, but a spark still hid in the depths of his eyes.
“Sure,” Luca said, after another beat. “I can do that.”
And then he stood, taking his plate with him. He walked around the table, picked up Emerson’s plate in his other hand. Walked to the sink and dropped them both in. Emerson blinked down at the cheap, chipped wood of his kitchen table as he heard Luca briefly turn on the tap. It was a small thing, he knew, but he couldn’t remember the last time someone had taken his plate away for him.
He was still sitting there like that when Luca returned. He leaned down from behind, hands gripping Emerson’s chair, speaking low into Emerson’s ear.
“I’m going to do some prep work on myself. Meet you in your room in twenty minutes or so?”
Emerson shivered. And nodded.
Luca kissed him there—right behind his ear—and walked out of the room.
Emerson layflat on his bed, staring at the ceiling, realizing he didn’t know the protocol here.
Did he reveal that he’d never done this specific kind of penetration before?
Jayden had liked a little anal stimulation, but still preferred vaginal penetration when they fucked that way at all, which they more often than not hadn’t. What if the experience was more different than Emerson had imagined?
Because Emerson had imagined it, after Jayden’s transition, after Emerson’s own quiet coming out. He’d imagined it with Jay, with other guys, with anyone. Wondered if he himself would like being the recipient. Which, after the way he’d reacted to what Luca had done with his tongue last night,he was pretty sure he knew the answer to now. He’d come close, a few times, to asking Jay if they could try it, maybe with some toys, but he hadn’t been brave enough. And then Jay had started pulling away.
A knock on the door. Emerson practically fell off the bed in his haste to sit up and appear normal.
“Come on in,” he said.
Luca walked in, cradling a bundle of things against his chest with one arm.
“Hey. I wasn’t sure if you had supplies of your own other than lube, so…I brought some.”
Carefully, adorably, Luca lined them up on the bedside table. Emerson leaned over to click on the lamp; he’d been lying only in the natural sunlight still pouring in from the window above the bed.
There were the usual suspects Emerson had anticipated: more lube, a couple condoms.
“Just in case one breaks,” Luca said, fingering them. “Or if there’s a kind you like better. I think they should be your size, though?”
“Whatever—” Emerson cleared his throat. “Whatever you prefer.”
And then—again, as if Luca had somehow read Emerson’s mind—a thin toy.
“And if you’re comfortable”—Luca picked it up and placed it in Emerson’s hand—“this can be helpful.”
It wasn’t a full dildo, but longer than most of the butt plugs Emerson had looked at before. There was a handle attached to the flared base. Emerson pressed the button hidden there, and the toy pulsed to life. He almost dropped it, cheeks heating, as if its vibrations were a surprise, as if he hadn’t known what was going to happen when he pressed a damnOnbutton.
“Yeah,” Luca said, sitting on the bed and wrapping hishand around Emerson’s. “I like just this level, to get me warmed up. Nice and easy, you know? So be careful with the button. I only take it to the wildest vibration when I’m alone.” Moving his thumb over Emerson’s and pressing down, they clicked through the levels together. Emerson’s heart thumped harder with each one.
Until they got to the last one, and they both laughed at the same time. Quiet, breathy.
“I think that would kill me,” Emerson said honestly. Just the vibration of it on his hand—trapped now between the toy and Luca’s palm—was doing things to him.
“I mean.” Luca leaned forward and kissed him, gently, the toy still going off between them. “Don’t knock it until you try it.” He pressed down on Emerson’s thumb one more time, holding for a moment, and the toy stilled. “But yeah. Not tonight.”
He guided their linked hands to lay the toy back on the nightstand. Then he raised a palm to cradle Emerson’s face as he took his mouth again, more firmly this time. Slowly, Luca eased Emerson onto his back, crawling across the bed after him, until they were settled against Emerson’s pillows. The tension buzzing underneath Emerson’s skin quieted the longer Luca’s mouth moved against his, the weight of Luca’s body grounding him. He knew how to do this part. He thought he and Luca were getting pretty fucking good at this part.
But when Luca’s hands tugged at Emerson’s t-shirt until Emerson leaned up to take it off, when Emerson encouraged Luca to do the same with his own, as each item of their clothing hit the floor, those nerves started humming again. Tonight felt different than the previous ones, more intentional. A plan they’d actually talked about beforehand. Which somehow made every single part of it—every kiss, every shift of their bodies against each other—feel more real.
