Because here it was again. What Luca had been anticipating all day. This tension. Static electricity racing across his skin.
Emerson had finished the dishes. He stood still at the sink, hands propped on the counter. And when Luca crawled his fingers toward his, brushed his fingertips across Emerson’s knuckles?—
The spark ignited again.
Luca might have been an idiot, but Emerson wasn’t ignoring him today. Wasn’t hiding.
“About that sore back,” Luca said.
Emerson lifted his gaze from their hands to Luca’s face.
“I can try to help you with that.”
Emerson swallowed. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Luca pushed off the counter, moved to stand behind him. Pushed his thumbs into Emerson’s lower back through his t-shirt. Emerson smelled fresh, clean, the tips of his hair still wet from what must have been a recent shower. “We should make the massage proper, though. With you lying down. And maybe losing this shirt.”
Luca might have been an idiot, but there was something about how little resistance Emerson had really given to his plan. Something about the way Emerson looked at him. It made Luca feel bolder, a little sluttier. Like there was an extra shot of adrenaline coursing through his bloodstream. It felt…fun.
Like it had felt fun that first night Emerson had shown himthe farm.
“Yeah,” Emerson said now, the smallest shake in his voice. “Okay. Um. First, though. I thought of some boundaries.”
Luca’s thumbs paused.
“Yeah?”
“We can do whatever, just…not when Daisy’s in the house.”
Luca stared at the back of Emerson’s neck.
This was an okay request. Right? Luca had told Emerson he could make whatever rules he wanted. This was an acceptable rule. Logical, even. Sensible. Why it made Luca feel the tiniest bit hurt, well, he didn’t fucking know.
“Okay,” he said, keeping his voice light. “But…you do know you can be a dad and still have a sex life, right?”
Because they could be quiet. Sometimes it made it more hot, having to be quiet. Surely Emerson and his ex had gotten it on sometimes with Daisy in the other room?
“Yeah. Yeah.” Luca couldn’t see Emerson’s face; it was still too bright out for the window in front of them to offer a decent reflection. But Luca saw the slight shake of his head, could picture his pained look. “It’s just…I don’t know. Daisy still feels so connected to my life with Jay, our family, that if we did this while she was in the house, it would feel like…cheating on him. Even if I know that doesn’t make sense. I’m sorry.” He sighed. Hung his head. “Maybe I’m making this weird.”
“No.” Luca kissed the back of Emerson’s neck. It was too intimate, he knew, too cute, but he couldn’t help himself.
It was…fine, maybe. This confirmation that Emerson was still in love with his ex. Luca had already known this when he’d offered this arrangement last night, right? The look of horror in Emerson’s eyes when he’d stopped their first kiss in the rain, when he’d saidyou’re the first person I’ve kissed since my ex, had been pretty easy to read.
“That’s fine, Emerson,” he said. “Anything you need.”
He wrapped his arms around Emerson’s torso. Proppedhis chin on Emerson’s shoulder. He had to lean down a little, but he liked that, too.
“Anything else?”
“Yeah. Well, not a rule, but I thought—” Emerson exhaled. “I thought maybe I should tell you. I’ve only ever been with Jay before, and Jay is trans, so I’ve never, uh. Had sex with a body like yours. Which I probably should have mentioned last night, but I was kind of…overwhelmed and didn’t know what to say.”
Luca’s fingers played with the hem of Emerson’s t-shirt.
“Thank you for telling me,” he said. It was good to know; he would be extra careful in making sure Emerson felt safe and comfortable going forward. But it certainly didn’t change anything else about Luca’s plans. “We can work with that, Emerson.” He added, “Sorry for overwhelming you.”
Emerson huffed an exhale again, but this one was tinged with embarrassed laughter.
“Please don’t be sorry for that,” he said, and even though it was said casually, Luca had never felt as much of a green light in his life.
