Emerson’s eyes fluttered shut. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had touched him like that. Luca’s knuckles had been gentle, only one slow swipe of his cheek, but—itmade something inside him lurch to the side, like all of his molecules were straining toward Luca’s body. Hungry for that feeling of being cared for.
“I don’t know what I want,” he eventually said, his voice rough, tattered, embarrassing, eyes still closed. He felt the shift of Emerson’s weight on the couch beside him. The warmth of those sweatpants as Luca’s legs came to rest on either side of him, his knees tucked around Emerson’s ass. The solidness of Luca settling onto his lap. Without opening his eyes, almost without thinking, Emerson ran his hands up the sides of Luca’s thighs to grip him around the hips, to keep him there.
Luca cupped Emerson’s face in both of his palms.
“I could help you with that,” he whispered.
Emerson wanted to think up boundaries. Wanted to think up rules, lay them out right now.
But in the end, he only nodded. And when he felt Luca’s weight shift, when he felt Luca’s lips brush against his own, he kissed back without hesitation. Defenseless.
Because the truth was, the entire time he’d been cooking and canning and labeling yesterday, the entire time he’d been lying in bed thinking about the movies, even the whole time he’d been working in the old barn with Luca’s fucking mother—he’d only truly been thinking about this. About how it had felt to open his mouth to Luca’s, to have Luca’s body aligned with his. Thesoundsthat had poured out of Luca when Emerson had kissed him, rumbling between them even with the noise of the rain. How long it had been since he’d felt anything even remotely close to it: electric,alive. How badly he needed to do it again.
Luca’s mouth moved to Emerson’s jaw, his neck, his ear, and Emerson finally allowed his eyes to open. The game on the TV was a blur behind the dark scruff of Luca’s head. Emerson was just contemplating being brave enough to reach up a handand touch it, see if it was soft or rough, when Luca pulled back.
Only a few inches, only so they could see eye to eye. But things had been so heady yesterday, all the sensory details swirled together in Emerson’s body—the rain, the wind, the shock of finding himself on top of Luca, the way his rational brain clicked off when Luca told him towait—that being this close to Luca’s eyelashes in the still quiet of his living room was an experience that stole his breath.
“I need to know what you meant,” Luca said. “Yesterday, when you asked if I was serious.”
Oh. Emerson remembered that, too. How he’d barely been conscious of what he’d even meant himself, but how he’dneededLuca to respond, all the same.
“I just—I had a hard time believing it. That you would want to kiss me, I guess. I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking super clearly.”
Almost imperceptibly, Luca tilted his head. His eyes serious, locked on Emerson’s.
“Why wouldn’t I want to kiss you?”
Emerson’s entire body was consumed by fever now. He didn’t want to talk about this. He just wanted Luca to keep kissing him.
He wondered if he could instituteno questions, everas one of their rules.
“I mean,” he eventually floundered out, flailing a hand toward his balding head. “At least when Jayden fell in love with me, I had hair.” A second after the words were out of his mouth, he sputtered some more. “I mean—not that?—”
This, this should have alerted Luca that Emerson wasn’t equipped for this. Less than five minutes after Luca had suggested some completely casual sex, Emerson was somehow saying the wordsfell in loveout loud. While referencing his ex.
“I got it. You’re good,” Luca soothed Emerson’s blunder,running a hand over Emerson’s head. “And you have hair. You just have…a little extra forehead.”
Emerson let out a short, breathy laugh. Luca gave him a stern look before his eyes traveled back to Emerson’s hair, where his fingers were still running along Emerson’s scalp, making shivers drip down his spine.
“It’s…dignified. It’s sexy.”
“Okay,” Emerson managed.
Luca leaned in and kissed him again. “I’m serious.” His hands made their way underneath Emerson’s shirt, stroking along his stomach. Emerson sucked in a breath. “Rule number one.” Luca’s mouth was on Emerson’s ear now. “Listening to me tell you how sexy you are.” His lips skated down Emerson’s neck. “A requirement of me helping you relax.”
“I don’t—” Emerson hadn’t been this hard in ages. Luca smelledso good, holy shit. What even was that? Emerson probably—fuck, Emerson probably smelled likeactualshit. He usually showered as soon as he came in for the day from the barn, but nothing about today had been normal. “I don’t think that’ll actually help merelax.”
A soft chuckle against Emerson’s sternum, where Luca had pulled down the collar of Emerson’s t-shirt to lick his collarbone.
Luca Yaeger waslickingEmerson’s collarbone.
And Emerson was letting him.
“It will,” Luca murmured, voice sultry and confident now. “Eventually.”
He moved then, forehead pressing against Emerson’s body as he slid down, down, until his knees hit the floor, his hands moving with him until they were caressing Emerson’s thighs over his jeans. And—fuck.Fuck.
“Call me off any time, okay?” Luca looked up at him through those long, dark lashes as his fingers crawled towardEmerson’s fly.
