“Where’s Jacob?” Luca asked before taking a long sip of his IPA, hoping he wasn’t, in fact, the last sibling to arrive.
“Over with Uncle Derek, judging Dad’s tomatoes.” She motioned behind her to the far end of the deck, where Luca could make out Derek and Jacob’s heads and upper torsos, motioning over the forever-chaotic veggie patch.
“Ah. That makes sense. Jacob’s trying to woo some woman who’s a master gardener.”
Dagny whipped her head back to Luca, eyes flashing with glee, any melancholia over senior year of college whisked away.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. A Hulegaard that I think was in Kjell’s class.”
“Anolderwoman! Huh.”
“Yeah, he might finally be getting his head out of his ass.”
“You better not be talking shit, Luca.” Jacob’s voice carried over the deck.
“What the fuck,” Luca whispered to Dagny. “Howhas his hearing survived like that this long.” Jacob, two years youngerthan Luca, and Daniel, one year Luca’s senior, were the brothers who had stayed. Who had worked with Luca and their dad and Joe Halpern and Uncle Derek and Uncle Irving and cousin Elijah on the boats. Every single one of those people, minus Jacob, had steadily declining hearing from a life on the water. The ocean was a loud motherfucker.
“Like a fucking cat,” Dagny whispered back.
“It is very cute,” Leah said, stepping out from the kitchen, “that any of you think those are your father’s tomatoes.”
“Sorry, Mom,” Dagny said. “Your tomatoes.”
Their mother gave them both pats on the cheek—Luca’s with her left hand, Dagny’s with her right—to show that all was forgiven.
“Hey, Mom,” Luca started, while it was just her and Dagny and Jacob’s weird hearing out here on the deck. If he said something now, it would force him not to chicken out later. “I have something I want to talk to you and Dad about later, if that’s okay.”
Both Dagny and Leah stared at him. He scratched the bridge of his nose.
“Is everything okay?” Dagny asked before their mom could.
“Yeah, yeah. I just don’t want to like…discuss it over dinner, with everyone all at once, you know.”
Leah kept staring at him, a dent forming in the middle of her forehead in concern.
But she only said, “Okay.”
Luca could tell Dagny was about to open her mouth again, but then Adrian and Joe came out of the house and Luca gave a quick shake of his head. His dad ignored them entirely, though, walking straight to the grill while he chatted with Joe, lifting the lid and giving its contents an inspection. Luca tried to release the tension in his shoulders and took another sip of beer.
Things passed like normal after that. Lots of fawning over Dagny, something she’d always deserved, even before she was on the brink of true adulthood. Lots of cooing over Summer, Kjell and Amaya’s second child, a still-fresh six months old—Amaya and their first child, Enzo, had stayed in Seattle for one of Enzo’s soccer games. Invasive discussion about Jacob’s love life. Careful avoidance of politics, unless it was local enough that they could all maybe, possibly agree.
Dinners at the Yaegers’ were as they had always been, as it had felt to grow up in this house: loud, warm, easy for Luca to disappear into, quiet in the middle of the storm. The five Yaeger children in a not-nearly-large-enough house were enough on their own, but Sundays and holidays were often full of uncles, aunts, cousins, along with the occasional neighbor who was as good as family: Joe Halpern; Leah’s best friend Molly Riverman; all the closest friends of Kjell and Daniel and Jacob. Today, that included Gabe Esposito, the most loyal of Kjell’s crew, here with his own young child to meet Summer and enjoy Kjell’s physical presence before they returned to Bellevue.
Luca felt grateful for this world, always. He enjoyed being able to blend in, to be part of the whole without pressure to always be on. He loved the family dinners. The gossip, the camaraderie. The history, the Yaegers’ deep roots twisted inside the sandy soil of Greyfin Bay.
There were things he loved about life on the boats, too.
There just…weren’t enough. It was harder to ignore his own head out there than it was here, on land. The chaos of the sea fucked with him, invaded his quiet spaces. Reminded him of all the other dreams he could’ve had. If he was smarter like Kjell. If he was more focused like Dagny.
If he was more talented in the thing he loved most.
In the end, it was Leah who found him after dinner, where he’d escaped to the far corner of the yard for a moment ofquiet. She limped across the grass toward him, Adrian close behind.
Luca frowned as he watched his parents approach. The limp in Leah’s right leg had afflicted her for months now, ever since the fall. The fall no one had been able to explain, the limp no one could make go away.
“Son,” Adrian said. “Your mother says you want to talk with us.”
