“I know I’m a pathetic bastard,” Dell said a few minutes later. The space between them had grown more comfortable again by degrees, but Dell knew he had fucked it up, that it wasn’t the same. “But can you put your hands back in my hair again?”
And thank fuck, Luca actually laughed a little.
“Yeah, Dell.” He turned toward him, pushing Dell’s body back down. Dell could’ve cried in relief at the pressure of Luca’s body over his again, at the return of his fingers to Dell’s scalp. “I can do whatever you want.”
Dellreallydidn’t know what the hell he was doing, then, looking into Luca’s hazel eyes. This perfect specimen whose bed he was somehow lucky enough to share every now and then. Who he wasn’t beholden to, because Dell had made sure that was the case. Because Dell, when he first moved to Greyfin Bay, hadn’t trusted himself to be close to anyone.
And now, after years of being goddamn careful, Dell might have accidentally gotten himself just…absurdly fucked up.
“Will you still make me coffee in the morning?”
“Yeah, Dell. I’ll still make you coffee.”
Luca ran his other hand along Dell’s stomach, and like that, Dell was back again. Luca noticed, running his hand lower, giving Dell a slow stroke.
“I just have one request,” he said, eyes focused somewhere on Dell’s chest. A rueful look pulled on his lips before he lifted his gaze to Dell’s eyes.
“Anything,” Dell gusted out, already breathless from the combination of what both of Luca’s hands were doing.
“When we’re doing this,” Luca said, eyes suddenly serious, “if you start picturing Mae? When I’m touching you? I’m out.”
“Luca,” Dell managed. Except Luca was increasing his speed down there, spitting into his hand, digging his nails harder into Dell’s scalp, and Dell groaned, eyes closing as his back arched.
“Dell. I’m fucking serious.”
“Know you are,” Dell breathed. “Fuck.” He couldn’t believe this was still feeling so good, so electric, after how vigorously they’d both gone in the first round. After the conversation they’d just had. “Luca.” He fluttered his eyes back open, made himself use every inch of focus to meet Luca’s stare, even as Luca continued his punishing pace on Dell’s dick. “If you thinkanyonecould focus on anything other thanyouwhen you’re touching them—” Dell sucked in one more breath. “You’re out of your fucking mind.”
Almost too fast for Dell to prepare for it, Luca kissed him.
And kissed him, and kissed him, until, blessedly, Dell’s brain shut off, and Dell and Luca returned to the spaces they knew best.
* * *
It would have taken Mae longer to notice if it hadn’t been for the breeze.
“Cold as tits in here,” she mumbled to herself as she booted up the computer. She took a sip of her tea; she’d installed a kettle on the small table next to the fridge in the office. Speaking of tea—Mae needed more. Which, as a lifelong hoarder of overflowing tea drawers, was hard to believe, but if she was going to maintain a reasonable stash at both 12 Main and Dell’s ADU, she needed more of the good stuff. Meaning, the good stuff from her favorite tea shops in Portland, varieties not stocked at the IGA.
Although maybe there was someone, some small farmer somewhere, who made good stuff here, too. Maybe she could sell it in the shop. She rubbed her hands together, trying to get warmth into her fingertips, before notingtea researchon her to-do list.
Secret good coastal tea or not, she knew she’d have to return to Portland sometime soon, regardless. She’d been putting it off, didn’t want to seem too weak, too needy, returning to the city too soon. Wanting to prove to herself, to Dell, to Liv, to Greyfin Bay, that she washere.All in.
But the air was getting colder as the days grew deeper into October, the winds from the sea stormier, and she hadn’t packed the bulk of her winter clothes. She needed to visit the storage unit to retrieve her good boots, her winter coat, all the hats and scarves Vik and Steve had knitted her over the years. There were other things she missed from the storage unit, too, that weren’t as necessary but that she longed for, the more the ADU felt like home: framed photos, more books, kitchenware.
She could probably make it another month, though.
She took another sip, shivered. She’d turned on the heat as soon as she’d walked in the back door, like always; it didn’t normally take this long to warm up.
And then her trans flag fluttered.
Mae looked toward the front window.
And saw the brick, sitting a few feet from the fluttering flag, surrounded by broken glass.
She brought her tea with her when she walked around the counter. Took another sip as she stood by the broken window. Stared down at the shards lying on her beautiful new rug.
“Well,” she said to herself. “Shit.”
She pulled her phone out of her hoodie’s pocket and called Vik.
