But that no matter what happened between them, Dell McCleary was a person who would never lie to her.
The trust she had in that—the trust she had in him—seeded through every part of her. It was a balm to overworked skin. It was the calcium in her bones.
They quieted as they listened to the creaks of the old building, the intermittent chatter of Main Street, the distant but ever present rush of the waves on Greyfin Beach. As they looked at the wall of Jesus’s poppies, brought to life by another queer person, another kind stranger, who lived in another small town along the coast.
“What was Jesus’s connection to Greyfin Bay?” Dell asked after a time, his hand running down Mae’s arm. “Why did he want his ashes spread here?”
“You know, I never actually knew until Alexei told me, that day we spread his ashes, when I first saw this building. Greyfin Bay was where Jesus and Steve had their first date.” Mae smiled into Dell’s skin. “They first met when they were out with mutual friends one night in Portland. Jesus thought Steve was hot but quiet, until late into the night, when marine life, of all things, came up in conversation. As weird stuff tends to come up in conversation when you’ve been at the bar too long. And Steve just…exploded, talking about how much he loved whales and sharks and rays and?—”
Mae paused to smile again, picturing the memory she hadn’t actually witnessed.
“—how much he’d always wanted to go on a whale watching tour. Steve was from Oregon but somehow had never been out here for one; when his family went on vacation they went to like…Paris and Venice and Saint Barts. Although I think it was Saint Barts where he first fell in love with marine life. Anyway, so Jesus invited him on a date to Greyfin Bay. He told Alexei that he fell in love with Steve the first moment he started talking about sharks at that bar, but it was when they came here, when he saw the look on Steve’s face when he first saw a whale on that boat that he knew he was done for life.”
They lapsed again into silence, staring at the poppies. Dell running that calloused hand up and down Mae’s skin.
“Have you been on one of the whale watching tours?” Dell eventually asked. “You moved at the perfect time for one.”
“No,” Mae murmured. “I was too busy with the shop. Have you been on one?”
She wasn’t surprised at all when Dell chuckled, a soft vibration against her cheek, and said, “No.”
But then he added, “We should go, this year. In honor of them.”
“Yeah.” Mae smiled again. “In honor of them.”
“We should probably go soon, in any case,” Dell added, “before climate change drives whales away from Greyfin Bay for good.”
“You are always full of pleasant thoughts, Dell McCleary.”
“Always.” And then, “I’m glad they brought Steve and Jesus together, though.” A pause. “I’m glad they brought you to me.”
“Yeah,” Mae whispered. “I’m glad for that, too.”
Another long moment passed.
“Hey Dell? When we go on that whale watching tour, nine months or so from now. You won’t judge me too harshly if Bay Books has shut down by then?”
Because Dell’s predictions felt more realistic, now that she’d dwindled Steve and Jesus’s savings in opening the shop. Now that she’d given half of what remained to the bank. Now that she’d seen, every day, how thin her profit margins were.
“It won’t be shut down,” Dell said automatically. Diplomatically. Kindly.
“It might,” Mae countered. Dell’s hand paused, for just a second, before returning to its ministrations.
“Then you’ll figure something else out,” Dell said. “And it’ll still be incredible that you made Bay Books exist at all. As long as you’re still with me, Mae? That’s all I need.”
Mae breathed in and out.
“But I know that whatever you do, even if it’s not this,” Dell added, voice so soft and affectionate Mae didn’t know what to do with herself, “it’ll be something good. Because that’s who you are, Mae.”
Ohh, Jesus whispered.Mae.Never let this one go.
“And you’ll still be here,” she said after a moment. “And Liv. And Olive, and Cara. Even if the whales go away.”
“Even if the whales go away,” Dell promised.
And that promise was good enough for her.
She had almost drifted to sleep when Dell spoke again.
