“But…” He sucked in a breath as he attempted to find words at the same time Mae was doing…this. “I’m pretty sure I do, Mae.”
“No.” She leaned down and kissed his neck. “It’s not a zero sum game. You don’t have to be okay with it.” She lifted herself back up. “I don’t have anyone or anything specific in mind, for the record; I was just curious. But I asked it poorly.”
The flowers against her chest moved, a gentle sway as she slid against him.
“Every circumstance is different. It’s probably a question that only really deserves a thoughtful response when there are details, you know?Oh.” Mae’s eyelashes dropped against her cheeks as she found a good spot. “Oh fuck, please ignore me.”
“No,” Dell smiled at her, even if she couldn’t see. “I find I can’t ever ignore you, Mae.”
Mae’s eyes opened just enough to smile back at him. Until Dell pushed up into her, and her breath hitched, eyelids drooping low once more.
“How are you so…” Dell searched for the words as his brain fought to go offline once again. Rain slashed against the window above their heads. “So good, and open, about all of this.”
“Oh, I truly don’t know shit,” Mae said, voice temporarily breezy again, and Dell laughed. “Fuck, that feels good. Fuck. I just…” Her mouth opened as she picked up her pace. Pink. So much pink. “I’ve just maybe been reading a lot,” she finally wheezed, and Dell smiled again.
“Yeah.” He leaned up to kiss her neck, this time. “Me too.” And then, “Ask me again, if you ever need to, okay?”
“Okay.” The pink spread across Mae’s chest. “Okay.”
* * *
“Remind me to work on my core so I can do this better next time,” Mae panted on Sunday night. Or perhaps it was technically Monday morning. Time, in general, had started to go fuzzy for Mae. “I’m pretty sure I have one of those, somewhere in there.”
Dell wheezed a strained laugh.
“Think”—wheeze—“you’re doing just fine.”
Mae was appreciative of the encouragement. Because while she had been into it from the moment Dell brought out his toy and harness, she hadn’t actually done this before. And while it was working for her—there was a grooved lip of the vibrating toy that fit against herjust right, bless its engineers—she was also sweating in a likely unsexy way, and her thighs were shaking, and she worried she kept fucking up the rhythm.
But her chest glowed each time Dell made another sound. Each second that he was clearly all in on this. That he trusted her with this at all. She dug her nails into his ass cheeks, earning herself another groan.
“Faster, Mae,” he growled. And then, a second later, like the fucking angel Dell was on the inside: “If you can.” And Mae leaned down to kiss his spine.
“Okay, but if I go much faster,” Mae huffed out, re-gripping Dell’s hips, “This thing—I’m gonna?—”
“Yeah, me fucking too, Mae; that’s why I’m asking you to do it,” Dell ground out into his pillow, and Mae half wheezed, half laughed before she took a shallow breath and gave it her all. Dell’s arm moved underneath himself; his other hand, holding the controller to the toy, clicked it up a notch.
“Ohfuck,” Mae managed to say before her vision started to go black. It was a wild thing, everything about it completely out of control; so physical and ephemeral all at once, an absolute mess.
Dell had to help her out of everything, after. Mae wasn’t sure she would ever move again. Except to move her lips, to say “oh my god” over and over again, until Dell laughed, and she shut her mouth, suddenly embarrassed. Until he kissed her so very gently, until he said “I know” and “thank you” into her ear.
Some minutes later, somehow, Mae found herself cozied under the blanket, cheek resting on Dell’s shoulder. Blinking her eyes, she could just see over Dell’s chest into his en suite bathroom, the toy and harness cleaned and drying on a towel on his countertop.
“Huh,” Mae heard herself murmur. “An excess of dicks really can be fun sometimes. By no means necessary, but fun sometimes.”
Dell rumbled a tired noise of assent. He kissed the top of her hair.
“In these particular instances, yeah. Otherwise…I’ve always been kind of take ‘em or leave ‘em, myself.”
Something inside Mae paused. She made herself stir further awake, pushing back until she could see Dell’s face.
Maybe she was reading too much into things. Maybe the hunches she’d always had were misguided. She should probably keep her mouth shut.
“Can I make an observation? One I probably wouldn’t make if I wasn’t extremely sex drunk?”
Dell shrugged, smiled at her. That barely-there Dell smile. His eyes were half closed.
“Sometimes I wonder,” Mae said slowly, “if you aren’t completely cis.”
