“Have you gotten to see any of these?” she asked.
“A few.”
“Fucking awesome, right?”
Alexei laughed. He couldn’t believe she was talking to him like things were normal, after he’d invaded her space and promptly had a very snotty meltdown. “Yeah,” he agreed. “They are.” And then, looking at the trail around them, “It’s sort of amazing any of this exists at all, really.”
Ruby finally looked up. Joined him in his look around.
“Yeah,” she said.
She tapped the end of her pencil against the paper. After a moment, she began to collect her things.
“You want to walk together awhile?” she asked.
Alexei looked at her, surprised. He remembered her saying she flew solo. Had felt a kinship with her, as soon as she’d said it.
“I don’t ask shit I don’t mean,” she said when he didn’t respond. “But if you want to be alone, I get that, too.”
Alexei felt like crying again. He scrambled up.
“I would love to walk with you, Ruby.”
And if she heard him possibly sniffling a few more times as they walked that day, she never said anything.
***
They sat together at camp that night near the shores of Holcomb Creek. It had been a high, ridge-filled, view-filled day, and Alexei was glad to rest now in this quiet, flat spot among the sagebrush.
He knew it probably wouldn’t last, hiking with Ruby, and he didn’t need it to. But he was grateful he’d found her today. Hiking with Ruby had helped.
“Where are you from, Ruby?” he asked as they cooked their dinners. He knew Ruby wasn’t interested in trail families. That their relationship wouldn’t be like his and Ben’s. But he wanted to remember things about her all the same.
“Queens.”
“Like, New York?”
“One and the same. You?”
“Washington State originally.”
Alexei waited a minute before he added, “But I’m thinking of moving to the East, when I’m done with the trail. Probably not New York.” He rubbed at his beard. “Boston, maybe.”
Ruby made a littlehm. “Big change,” she remarked.
Alexei inhaled, let it out slowly. It was the first time he’d said anything about his move, in a specific way, out loud. Naming a destination. And Ruby vocalizing the reality of it—big change—made it seem, suddenly, much more frightening. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Big change.”
Ruby stretched out her brown legs.
“New York’s better,” she said. “But, you know. Your mileage may vary.”
“I’ve never been to either of them,” Alexei admitted. “But I don’t know.” He smiled a little to himself. “I’ve always wanted to see Harvard Square.”
“Yeah, I can see that. You are a white man,” she said. “Boston’ll suit you just fine.”
Alexei tinkered with his stove. “I am a gay white man,” he said. Because if he could writecame out againin his journal tonight, it’d be at least one bullet point he could be proud of.
“Right,” Ruby said. “Like I said. Boston’ll suit you just fine.”
