Alexei thought:Mom would really like him.
It was probably the biggest pinch he’d felt yet.
He tried to think of something to say, about Tumbleweed, about Ben helping ease people’s pain during their last days on earth.
In the end, he could only stare into the distance and try to quiet his beating heart. He thought he heard a slight trill.
After several quiet minutes, he said, “Brewer’s sparrow.”
He was still staring into the manzanitas, away from Ben’s face, hoping he could get a glimpse of tail feathers, wings, the streaked nape.
But like always, he could still feel Ben’s smile somehow. It flushed through him, bright and warm, and like a fool, Alexei let himself feel it, until the pinch faded away.
Tomorrow, Alexei told himself. Ben Caravalho could find a new group of thru-hikers tomorrow.
For now, Ben and Alexei picked up their packs once more. Ben took the lead.
“When was the last time you took a zero day, Lex? I have to say I’m hurtin’ for one.”
“I actually haven’t taken one yet.”
Ben stopped short before Alexei’s legs could process it. His chest barreled into Ben’s pack. For a brief, overwhelming moment, his lips dived into Ben’s hair.
Ben stepped away and turned, appearing unbothered by the body slam.
“Wait, what?”
“What?” Alexei had forgotten what they were talking about.
“You haven’t taken a zero day yet? When did you get on trail?”
“Oh.” Alexei rubbed at his chest. A zero day was a day off: zero miles hiked. Zero days were necessary to rest sore muscles and prevent injury. They were often scheduled to coincide with visits to towns, to recharge in actual hotel beds, to resupply at stores or pick up prearranged resupply boxes from post offices. Alexei had planned his first one soon, near I-10. “I got on at Route 74. Right before I first met you, with the rattlesnake.”
“Got it.” Ben scratched at his forehead. “So are you just section hiking then? I thought—”
“No,” Alexei interrupted with a sigh. “I’m hiking until Canada. I just…wanted to skip some of the desert.”
Even though he knew the decision was odd, it had been a bit terrifying, studying all that beige on the map around the Mexican border, when he’d been planning his trip back in Portland. It had eased the anxiety in Alexei’s chest to stick his finger on the first patch of green, decide to start there instead. San Bernardino National Forest. Route 74: Palms to Pines Scenic Byway.
“Oh, right.” A smile overtook Ben’s face again as he understood. “That makes sense.” Did it? Alexei was pretty sure it was weird, starting 150 miles in instead of at the beginning. Why was Ben so nice to him? It was also weird. “So you’ve been walking for…”
“Today is my sixth day.”
“Lex!” Ben pushed him in the shoulder. Alexei’s gut buzzed. “What the hell. God, you must be dying. The first week isthe worst. Your body’s, like, in shock basically.”
“I—” Alexei tried to find the right words. Relief filled him, almost heady, at this confirmation that the way he was feeling wasn’t out of the ordinary. “I am…sometimes uncomfortable.”
“Okay.” Ben clapped his hands. “That’s it. Zero day tomorrow.”
Alexei frowned. “I had planned to push on to I-10.” Darn, stopping in Idyllwild really had put him behind.
“Nope.” Ben popped thep, shook his head. “Hiking seven days in a row without a zero is a dumbass idea. Let’s make sure we find an excellent camping spot tonight. And tomorrow?” Ben grinned. “We sleep.”
With that, he twirled on his heel and moseyed down the trail.
Alexei stared after him. When they were walking, Alexei always had the distraction of the trail, of planning their next steps. It frightened him a bit, imagining a full day of being still with Ben Caravalho.
For now, Alexei kept walking. Focused on what was in front of him, right here, right now: eyes on the trail, ears open to the sky.
