Alexei turned back around. If he’d learned anything about perilous situations in the outdoors over the years, it was that hesitation would only make it worse. Alexei stuck a trekking pole in. Took a step out onto the ridge.
The trick was not to think too hard, never to pause too long.
But Alexei was forced to pause when he realized after a few steps that Ben was still standing at the edge of the snow, yet to make a move.
“You got this,” Alexei said. When Ben still didn’t move, he thought about what Alina would have needed in this moment. “Ben. Look at me.” He waited until Ben’s brown eyes met his, still too wide with fear. “It’s not too slippery. Trust your feet. Trust your poles. Don’t look down.”
Ben nodded, a little harder this time. He took a deep breath and stepped onto the snow.
And stopped.
Alexei waited.
Ben stepped his left foot toward Alexei.
He stepped it back and shook his head.
“I don’t know if I can do this.” Ben’s voice was pinched, small in the wind. It sounded unnatural to Alexei’s ears. Like there was an entirely different person standing at the edge of the snowbank than the one he’d met twenty-four hours ago in Idyllwild, shouting about the glories of sinks.
“Ben.” Alexei decided to try a new tactic. He opened up the spreadsheet of questions in his mind. “Tell me what you are most excited to see or do when you finish the trail.”
Ben was silent a moment before he closed his eyes. Oh no. Closing your eyes on a steep slope of snow was not a great idea.
“Ben,” Alexei said again. “Open your eyes. Look at me.”
“Ma.” Ben snapped his eyes open. Cleared his throat. “My mom,” he said, louder. And then, glancing nervously down the slope, “She would be so fucking pissed at me right now.”
Alexei took a deep breath himself, anotherpinchhitting his chest.
But this wasn’t about him.
“All right,” Alexei said. “Focus on what’s in front of you, and only on what’s in front of you. One step at a time.” He took another step left. “What else?”
Ben followed, taking a step forward. He completed the movement without backtracking this time.
“Carolina. My baby sister.”
Alexei took a step. After a minute, so did Ben.
It would take an hour at this rate to reach the end of this ridge. But if it took an hour, it took an hour.
“Great,” Alexei said. “You’re doing great. What else?”
“My dog.”
Goodness. Alexei had not even contemplated, in his endless list of wonderings about Ben, the possibility of pets. But of course Ben had a dog.
“Tell me about your dog.” Alexei took another step.
“Her name’s Delilah. A Rottie. I love her.”
Step.
“What else?”
“My brother. Tiago.”
A pause.
