The excitement mingled with the strange mental adjustment of being back in the real world, along with the nerves about Alexei’s nerves that Ben had never really kicked since Cajon Pass. That Alexei would hate it. That it had been a bad idea to ask him to come. Ben’s gut, basically, was anxiety soup.
But Alexei had remained calm even as Ma crushed them both in an epic hug at Arrivals yesterday, when his dad gave him a quiet handshake, when Ben chattered nonsensically through his exhaustion and adrenaline the entire ride home.
It had been late by the time they got to Ben’s childhood home, where Ben had been living in his old bedroom in the basement since nursing school. He hadn’t been particularly attached to his most recent apartment anyway—he’d basically moved into the first place he could find, after moving out of Robbie’s place—and while unglamorous, living at home helped him afford the textbooks and tuition. It was also convenient during the trail, already having all his belongings stashed here, not having to worry about rent or getting a subletter while he was gone.
He’d tromped Alexei down to the basement almost as soon as they’d arrived last night. And only then had Alexei had a surprising reaction.
He’d practically screamed when Delilah licked his hand.
“Delilah!” Ben had thrown his arms around the Rottweiler’s neck, and they both, with great zeal, wrestled each other to the floor.
Alexei had steadied himself against the railing of the stairs, hand over his heart.
“The dog,” he breathed. “Delilah is your dog.”
Ben gave him a funny look. Delilah licked his cheek, wiggling her butt and whining softly.
“Yeah. I talked about seeing her, like, nonstop on the plane.”
“I know.” Alexei blushed. “But you’ve talked about so many people, I couldn’t place the name, and was too embarrassed to ask once you’d mentioned her for the millionth time. I thought she was one of your cousins.”
Ben had laughed until he’d cried, and they’d both curled up under Ben’s soft blue comforter, Delilah at their toes, and passed out immediately.
This morning, though, Alexei had met Carolina over breakfast—she’d been at a farewell party the previous night with her Speech and Debate teammates—and Tiago came over, bearing a cup of coffee from All People, Ben’s favorite, which was almost shockingly thoughtful for Tiago. A half hour after Tiago arrived, Julie drove up, and then Aunt Joan and Uncle Jaco, and finally, cousins started trickling in: Beatriz, Claudio, Ana. Alice, visiting from Chattanooga for Jaco’s party, had slipped in right as Ben started the slideshow.
Ben’s house wasn’t big. It was possible every inch of it being crammed with Caravalhos, plus Julie, had finally pushed Alexei over the edge.
Alexei’s posture now was the opposite of Julie’s casual draping. Back straight, hands clasped politely in between his knees. And while he gave Ben a tiny smile every time Ben caught his eye, Ben could see the strain in his jaw that hadn’t been there the previous night, how his quiet was different today.
Ben knew his family was a lot.
He knew Alexei was doing his best.
But Alexei washere.
Ben couldn’t get over it, every time he looked over and saw him on the family couch.
The next shot Ben showed was from the top of a ridge, one he was sure they had known the name of at the time. But after walking along so many ridges, they all seemed to blur together now.
Ma shot out of her chair at the sight of it, clutching at her chest.
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,” she said. “Youwalkedon that? One slip and you could’vedied, Bento!”
“Aw, Aunt Iris, relax. Look at him; Ben’s just fine,” Claudio asserted.
“But he’s goingback,” Ma said, and then seemed to catch herself, taking a deep breath. She settled back into her seat, hands clasped tightly in her lap. “Sorry, Ben.” She nodded, as if to give herself strength. “The pictures are lovely. Keep going.”
Ben reached over Alexei’s lap to grab his mother’s shoulder. He gave it a quick squeeze.
His chest felt tight. Competing with his guilt over causing Ma stress, there was a swell of pride. Because she was right. Hewasgoing back. He’d made it through 700 miles, and there had been plenty of moments during those 700 miles when he’d contemplated quitting. But he’d made it this far without major injury or incident. He was terrified of the Sierras, but he trusted Alexei’s instincts more than anything else he’d ever known. Alexei would only carry them across ridges and river crossings they could bear together. Alexei would make sure they were okay.
And even if things didn’t go perfectly after this, Ben still felt strong after those 700 miles. Stronger than he’d ever felt. Strong enough to try.
He swiped on his phone. A photo of the massive windmills that had dotted a lonely stretch of desert appeared on the TV.
Delilah jumped onto the couch and rested her head on Alexei’s lap.
“I can’t believe you actually walked all of this,” Julie murmured as he swiped to yet another new scene. “This is amazing, Ben.”
