“Hey, Dad? Hey, yeah. So, I’m back in Maryland. I got kicked off the show. Yeah, it’s okay. Don’t tell anyone else. No . . . no, Dad, I’m all right. But I was wondering . . . How would you feel about having a visitor for a while?”
London squinted into the sun.
It was barely ten o’clock, and this day had already felt a million years long.
They had no idea how they were going to survive this weekend.
The last two days had been tolerable. Sure, London had been living in a state of excruciating purgatory, but at least they’d been able to cook. They’d had tasks to complete on set, things to occupy their hands and their mind.
After the fight with Dahlia on Tuesday, London had lain in bed, unsleeping, staring at their phone for hours, willing a text to come through. Or maybe a knock at their door. Sleep must have overtaken them at some point, and they woke to Janet banging down their door.
“I didn’t have the heart to bring the airhorn,” she’d said, when London had finally opened up. “But you gotta get going, honey.”
And by that point, Dahlia was gone.
Had someone been there to pick her up at the airport? London couldn’t stop thinking about that. Hank and her parents were in Massachusetts. Dahlia hadn’t, now that London thought about it, mentioned many friends back in Maryland, other than some old coworkers. Maybe she had called them. Maybe she wasn’t alone. The idea of her being alone made them want to set something on fire.
Even though thinking about the way things had ended between them on Tuesday night made them want to set something on fire, too.
London would be happy with an inferno right about now. Just burn everything clean. Spark new growth.
But they had followed Janet back to set on Wednesday morning. They had completed the challenges that day and the next, watched Khari get kicked off on Thursday. Listened to the judges congratulate them, Cath, and Lizzie on being the top three.
And felt absolutely numb about all of it.
Now they had a three-day weekend, before one last Elimination Challenge next week that would determine the final two contestants of season eight, who would then head to the finale.
London had no idea how to fill three entire days without Dahlia.
So they were doing what they’d done the last two nights, after they’d returned to their hotel room after filming and realized they had no desire to do anything but punch things.
They walked.
London put on sneakers, left the hotel, and walked. They walked even though they were already exhausted. They walked until their feet hurt.
Eventually, they’d call a Lyft back to the hotel.
They knew they should probably return their rental car. They weren’t going to touch it, obviously. It reminded them too much of her.
London pulled out their phone now as they walked and checked for new notifications. They had muted everything the last few weeks, after the first episode aired. It was too hard, trying to filter out the trolls from the encouragement, too time-consuming blocking everyone who said something shitty. London knew they were out of touch with the world, but frankly, they’d been too infatuated with Dahlia Woodson to care.
Ever since she left, they’d plugged back in. London was dumbstruck at the amount of followers they had now. They’d connected with all their online friends again, who had been freaking out and were thrilled to hear from them. It felt good, talking to people who actually wanted to still talk to them.
The encouraging messages that had been pouring onto their timeline and into their DMs now felt important enough to filter through the trolls for. They drowned out the #TeamLizzie versus #TeamLondon bullshit. London had been checking their phone obsessively these last few days, during breaks on set, at night when they couldn’t sleep. They tried to skim through the worst of it. They clicked through to the Block button as fast as they could.
And then they slowed down for the rest. Made sure they read every word.
I can’t tell you how much it means to me that I get to watch a nonbinary person on TV. On this week’s episode, Sai and Tanner were discussing your dish, and they kept saying “their dish” and “their skills” and I almost couldn’t believe it, these two famous people using your pronouns like it wasn’t a big deal. It’s made me picture a better world for myself. Thank you.
My child came out to me this week as nonbinary. We watch Chef’s Special together and I can’t help but make the connection. Thank you so much for being you.
Are you seeing anyone? Because I am available, all hours of the day. Just so you knooooowwwww
I know you’re from Nashville—do you have any advice for a trans kid living in a small town in Kentucky? It’s like we’re neighbors but we’re not . . . I’ve been daydreaming about moving to Nashville and hanging out with you and things being okay. But I’m just in high school and don’t have money and don’t want to leave my mom, but things don’t really feel okay.
My previously kind of transphobic sister totally has a crush on you and it is HILARIOUS. She keeps saying “They are just a really good cook!” but WE ALL KNOW and she says THEY!! She even makes us watch all the episodes LIVE, like in REAL TIME, and who even does that? I am obsessed with it. You are rocking worlds out here, London
Hey London, love watching you on Chef’s Special! Was just wondering if you could RT this thread? It’s full of assigned-male-at-birth nonbinary folx, and honestly it feels like a lot of people don’t even know we’re out here too. Thanks <3
