“What do you mean? How can inviting her to tea hurt her feelings?”
“Not hurt, Jilly. Confuse. Embarrass. She has a position in the household that fits within a known structure. You might not agree with it, but you cannot undo it with a single invitation. Nor should you undo it at all,” he added hastily.
“And why not? Why can I not do things my way in my own home?”
Lewis sighed. This was taking a lot more patience than he had expected.
“Because your household also runs on the same principles. The staffwantthe separation from the family.”
“I don’t believe that!”
“They work long hours, Jilly. If you are going to try to befriend them, they will have to give of their work time to accommodate you.”
“I asked Janet to come on her day off.”
“And did you not think she might have other things planned for her free time?”
“She could just have told me.”
“No, she couldn’t. Because you are her superior. She has been taught that your needs are her duties.”
Jillian paused before declaring, “I hate that.”
She began to rub her arms as the chill in the air settled upon her.
Lewis drew his wife to him, wrapping his own arms around hers. “I know, my love. You want the whole world to be friends, and to enjoy the sunshine and pick daisies. But it cannot be. Someone must wash. Someone must dig. It does not have to mean they are unhappy. And your kindness can make their burden lighter, knowing they work for a fair mistress. But you must leave them to their tasks that they may work among their peers, where they are relaxed and comfortable, with people whom they don’t have to please.”
Jilly’s frame still shivered within his embrace. “Can we talk more in the house?” she asked, her teeth beginning to chatter.
“Is there more to say? I do not want to have the servants listening in on our private debate.”
“I am too cold to argue with you.”
“But you want to.”
Jillian began to stomp back to the house. Lewis could not tell if it was out of frustration or to combat the cold.
“Why can Penelope do whatever she wants?” Her voice trailed back toward him.
“She most certainly cannot,” he countered, throwing his words toward her as he hastened to catch up. “While she may have more freedom than many young ladies, it is not without limitation. Even the Prince Regent, to whom every knee bends, is not without restriction. That is just the way it is.”
Jillian stopped her furious march and faced Lewis squarely.
“You said I could be myself. You said you would not expect me to change.”
Her words irked him. He did not deserve the implied accusation. “You’re being unreasonable,” he told her. “How have I asked you to be someone you are not? I have only asked you to express your nature and carry yourself within the bounds ofpropriety. That was what we agreed. You would maintain the necessary decorum that your position demands. It is you who have broken the contract.”
“Oh!” The outrage burst forth in a plosive breath. Jilly seemed to be struggling for a suitable response, her fingers splayed, her arms stiff, her mouth gaping and wordless, while her eyes flashed an angry retort. “Oh!!” she said again, her own frustration doubling down on the singular word.
She began to shiver again, no doubt as much in fury as with cold. When neither heat nor a suitable response was forthcoming, she whirled around and resumed her trudge back to the kitchen.
Lewis could only imagine the scene as she entered. The maids would stare while trying not to. Cook would roll her eyes at another disruption. But all would return to normal in the softening ripples of Jillian’s wake once she had swept through the kitchen and into that part of the house where they felt she belonged.
Lewis stuck his fingers into his pockets. Despite his informal banyan which kept out some of the chill, he was cold. But entering the house meant another possible confrontation with Jilly, who may well have gathered her thoughts in the interim. Nor was he in the mood to see the expressions on the faces of the kitchen staff.
To solve these difficulties, Lewis strode around to the front of the house and let himself in. His outdoor coat and hat hung on the stand near the door and he claimed them. He hailed their passing footman. “Fetch my country boots,” he instructed, “and bring them to my study.”
Lewis walked to the room in question and sat down in the nearest chair. Kicking off his house shoes, he tucked them under the seat and waited for the footman to return with his boots and help him put them on.
