“I have promised my son I would no longer discuss the matter with him. He has closed his mind to all reason.”
Jillian could just imagine the conversation that had transpired between mother and son, if it could be called a conversation at all. She decided it was wise to make no comment. Instead, she waited for Lady Bradford to reveal her intentions.
“I am therefore silenced by my son in my own home. But I have made no such commitment to you.”
Ah, so it wasthatsort of visit.
Lady Bradford folded her hands in front of her. “I understand you are leaving Munro today.”
“I am hoping to spend some time with my family before I am married, yes.”
“And they are satisfied that the wedding should take place?”
“Yes. They are very happy for us.” Jillian let the words hang in the air.
“Why is that?” came the brusque response.
“Why are they happy for us?” Jillian found the question incredible. “Theyloveus. What other reason could there be?”
Lady Bradford turned her head askew and looked at Jilly through one squinted eye. “But they have not even met Lewis. Why would they consider the match a favorable one?”
“I have written many letters praising your son’s excellent qualities,” she answered. “They have no cause to doubt my judgment. You must know what a fine gentleman he is.”
Lady Bradford’s mouth flattened into a line and her brows lifted with what Jillian took to be feigned curiosity. “And do those excellent qualities include his wealth and position?” she asked pointedly.
So, she would be crass enough to state her insinuation as bluntly as that.
“I have told you before,” Jilly retorted. “Lewis is enough for me, regardless of his income, inheritance, or status.”
“‘Enough’?” Lady Bradford scoffed. “I should say so, indeed!Morethan enough, wouldn’t you agree? But areyouenough for him? What do you offer in exchange for all that you gain?”
Jillian wished she could banish this endless inquisition as Lewis had done, but she had no authority to make such demands as the supposed interloper. There was nothing for it but to answer as honestly and as patiently as possible. Whatdidshe offer for the gift that was Lewis? The answer, truly, was a simple one.
“Exactly what he offers me: a devoted heart.” She was rather proud of how calmly she had spoken. Surely, a mother would wish mutual affection for her son?
“And that is all?”
Jillian could stand it no longer. She waved her arm about in frustration. “That iseverything! In fact, Lewis knows that to offer me more would only make me uncomfortable. I have not known a lavish life and do not wish for one now. Your fears are quite unfounded.”
“There is little comfort in what you say,” Lady Bradford answered grimly. “For, if you do not wish for the life of a baroness, you cannot be what Lewis needs. He may not have expected the role that has been thrust upon him, but he must bear it with fortitude. And his wife must support him. She cannot be living in a cottage and baking little homely pies like some woodcutter’s wife in a fairy tale. He is the heir to aristocracy. You will only shame him with your naïve desire for skipping in fields. Surely, you must see that?”
Jillian gritted her teeth. “I can manage myself well enough in the public eye, as the need arises. And if, as you say, I wish to skip naively in my own time, why should it trouble anyone? Why is it nobler to embroider or play the pianoforte?”
“Because,” said Lady Bradford with an undisguised effort at patience, “these activities display skill and years of dedication to their craft. They speak of a mind that is disciplined and a body that is under its owner’s control. And you lack these essential qualities entirely.”
“Lewis doesn’t seem to care,” Jillian said stubbornly.
Lady Bradford closed her eyes and took a testy breath. “That is because he believes he is rebelling against us. You are but a means to secure animosity between us—a punishment because he did not benefit from being the first born. I am disappointed at his churlishness, but I am convinced he will sober with age. And when we are gone, the responsibility of his father’s name and ancestral home will suddenly feel heavy and real. Then he will wish he had chosen differently. And the childlike feelings you now share will dissolve into resentment and frustration. For hewillrise to his position. It is just a matter of time.”
Lady Bradford sighed heavily. “I say this as much to protect you as I do to protect Lewis from himself. You cannot understand the world you are entering. You think you can skirt around its edges. But it will envelop you, overwhelm and consume you, for you are not educated to manage it. Lewis is cruel to lie to you as much as he lies to himself.”
For the first time, a crack appeared in Jillian’s armor. A sliver of doubt had pierced it and might, at any second, drive deeper and breech her heart. Lady Bradford must have sensed it, because she smiled sympathetically and said, “It is hard to hear the truth. I understand. And you now grasp why I have stood between you. Let me soften the blow. I can give you a goodly sum to spend as you wish. Perhaps you might even buy a pony upon which to lavish your affection while your hopes for a life with Lewis fade in time. Or you might consider some furniture to make your parents more comfortable. Is that something you would like?”
Lady Bradford sounded so sincere, Jillian believed she truly meant it all with the best of intentions. But she had underestimated how determined Jilly was to marry her son.
“I thought by now, you would know that money means nothing to me, Lady Bradford. It could never replace the love I feel for Lewis.”
“Tch, what does a woman scarcely of age know about love?” her ladyship bit back irritably. “It is a word too easily thrown about. Love is more than kisses and a racing pulse.”
