If he came to dinner… If she saw the disappointment in his eyes… At least she would have seen him. It was small consolation. Under the circumstances, perhaps she should be grateful there was any. Best to get it over and done with. No Doctor Wesley fussing over her, guessing at what medicinemight relieve her mysterious malady. No Papa fretting by her bedside. No prison to be made from her bedroom.
“I am merely feeling sorry for myself,” she confessed as her father hovered over her. “It would be selfish of me to keep you home when you have important business in London. I have such good care here, and I am feeling better already. It is just a passing melancholy.”
His obvious relief when she appeared to perk up soon afterward ate at her conscience. She had toyed with the one part of him that was still pure, all because she couldn’t face her own fears regarding a gentleman with whom she had no future. It made her more miserable than ever. Her father would still go to London. Mr. Mannerly would still come to dinner. She had hurt her father for nothing.
*
Papa lingered alittle by Sophia’s side the morning before he left. “You are certain nothing ails you?”
“No more than what is usual,” she answered bravely, lifting her chin and offering him a smile. “There is no need for you to worry, Papa. I am as well as I can be.”
Her father must have accepted her at her word, for he kissed her gently on her forehead. “I’ll be back in just a few weeks.”
“Perhaps then it will be warm enough for us to take the carriage and see a bit of the countryside,” she added hopefully.
Her father frowned. “We shall see.”
If she had been Adriana, she would have folded her arms stubbornly and retorted smartly,“We certainly shall.”But she was not Adriana. Instead, she waited until she heard her father’s carriage leaving the drive before calling to Katie to bring her the writing tray. She had no more excuses. She was resigned to her fate.
A short letter to Mr. Mannerly provided the date and time for dinner. She didn’t have the will to discuss poetry. All her energy was spent on keeping her rising panic from overcoming her.
The letter was dispatched. And Sophia waited in agony.
Oh, if only he would be too busy! But, as she had expected, the reply was immediate and a resounding “yes.” In two days, Mr. Mannerly would be here. And it would at last be clear to him—the proof irrefutably before him—that she was by no means a goddess. And the pedestal he had placed her on would crumble to dust.
Chapter Five
Afire blazedin the dining room, and extra rugs and cushions were brought to make Sophia as comfortable as possible. But nothing could ease the pounding of dread that thrummed within her. By the time the footman had shown their guests in, she was almost paralytic with fear.
She barely greeted Freddy, who kissed her on the cheek as if she were already his sister. But Sophia had no time to ponder whether that would ever be a reality, because Mr. Tobias Mannerly entered shortly on Freddy’s heels.
He approached hesitantly, his eyes searching the small crowd assembled there. All had risen to acknowledge him except Sophia, who was rendered motionless with both physical weakness and self-doubt.
His gaze found her at last, and his entire being lit up. He was shorter than she had imagined, but he strode across the floor toward her with a briskness that belied his height.
“Miss Grant!” he breathed, as if in the presence of inspiring beauty. “At last!”
His eyes shone, and his lips were red with a rush of feeling. He seemed oblivious of her faded looks, her body that would not let her rise to greet him properly. How grateful she was now that Katie had fussed over her hair. It was the one part of her, other than her mind, that still did what it was told. She lifted her handto a dark tendril that draped at her neck and murmured shyly, “It is good to see you.”
“Well, that is one introduction complete,” teased Adriana. “Shall we make short work of the rest?” Without waiting for an answer, she nodded to George to do the honors. When he was done, she lightly touched Mr. Mannerly’s shoulder and indicated the empty chair next to Sophia. “Mr. Mannerly, won’t you be seated?” she said before turning to take Freddy by the arm.
“You have the place beside mine.” Adriana smiled. In truth, it was much more than a smile, for in that one look, she was offering Freddy her heart.
Sophia had to admit, she was envious of Adriana. Envious that it all came so easily to her. For when Mr. Mannerly lifted his coattails to sit, all she could offer him was uncomfortable silence.
A soft murmur of polite conversation began as the Grant siblings bid welcome to their guests. Soon the chatter around the table grew lively. But Sophia remained apprehensive and mute.
Any moment now, it would sink in. He would register her thin limbs, the dark circles beneath her eyes. His uncle should have warned him, but perhaps he had not truly understood. Here, in her presence, the reality was unmistakable.
Tobias turned to look at her, and she shrank under his honest scrutiny.
His expression did not change. She held her breath, waiting for his smile to droop. Instead, it held.
The tiniest edge of her fear dissolved.
“I cannot tell you how pleased I am to finally meet you, Miss Grant,” he said, his eyes never swerving from her face. “Of course, putting thoughts into words is no challenge foryou. Alas, I do not share your gift. I can only hope that sincerity suffices where skill is wanting.”
Sophia straightened her back. “Indeed, sir, I prize candor above all else.”
