But Sophia’s eyes did not grow dreamy at these thoughts.
“You said you would be patient.” Her voice was thick with reprimand.
Tobias sighed and released her hands.
“So I did.” He sat and pondered the sad picture that was his beloved. Blast that Sangford woman! Weeks of progress gone in a flash. Sophia had crawled right back into her cocoon. And he was no nearer to understanding why. Perhaps it was time to ask his uncle what he knew.
Dear Uncle Edmund. His heart sank. There was another pretty mess—betraying a man who was like a father to him. Even though his uncle was quite safe from that devil-woman’s wiles—and Tobias needed to believe that—it felt wrong to keep secrets from him. Subterfuge did not come naturally to Tobias. It was bad enough that his relationship with Sophia was necessarily covert. But even this secret had been shared with Uncle Edmund. Tobias had needed a sensible confidant. And his uncle was certainly sensible. There was no reason to suspect that Miss Sangford stood a chance against his cool logic.
Tobias recalled her little show of practiced charm. Her performance had come so easily, unbound by scruples, strengthened by a cold determination to obtain her selfish desires. What if… He swallowed hard. What if Miss Sangford found a chink in his uncle’s armor? Tobias shuddered. The idea was too terrible. He could not bear it. He was grateful when Sophia’s small voice sounded from the corner in which she had ensconced herself.
“I don’t understand,” she said with simple honesty. “Why do you persist, even now, when it all seems hopeless? I give you no encouragement, and yet you will not give up.”
Tobias hesitated. It was true. Sophia had discouraged him at every turn. And yet, he had caught her secret glances, the ones that shone with affection, her eyes filled with trust and,yes, desire. He had begun to peel back the layers of resistance she had shrouded herself in. Beneath it all, he knew, her heart pulsed a slow and steady tattoo for him. But ripples of fear and distrust disguised it. He needed to help her understand how deep the current of his own feelings ran.
Slowly, he stood and stepped across the narrow space between them to sit beside her.
“Why do you love to write poetry?” he asked.
“Oh,” she said, her mouth round with surprise. And then, with a rush of confidence, she added, “Because it gives me purpose. It makes me happy. I feel most myself when I am wrestling with just the right words. It adds meaning to a world that is otherwise very stark and lonely at times.” Her cheeks colored with a surge of feeling.
Tobias closed his eyes and breathed in as though he had just perceived the sweetest perfume. Then he opened them again and smiled warmly. “Yes, dearest Sophia. That is it exactly.Youare my poetry.”
Sophia seemed to consider this. It was encouragement enough that she had not rejected his statement out of hand.
“I…I cannot imagine my life without poetry,” she answered at last. “It is not a situation I could flourish in.”
“Just so.” He beamed.
“I have sacrificed my time and energy to it willingly.”
“They have been well invested.”
“But I have never sacrificed another for this privilege,” she pointed out. “And you should not have to do so for me. Your uncle is a good man. And your future with him is secure. I cannot offer you the same guarantee with me.”
“And yet,” Tobias persisted, “if your art were to be wrenched from you…” His hands mimicked the action. “If it were to be lost, unless you offered up another part of yourself? Would thedecision really be that difficult? Surely, the smaller sacrifice is more bearable than the greater?”
“I suppose that would depend.”
“Perhaps, a month of no letters from Adriana?”
“That would be hard.”
“But not unbearable? Not like losing that which is entwined in your heart?”
“No.”
“Then you understand me.”
Sophia was silent awhile. Tobias did not press her. He could not make his feelings any clearer. It was up to her to accept them.
“I am your poetry,” she repeated to herself. She looked up at Tobias. “These are weighty words.”
“I fully understand what I mean by them. Do you?”
“Will your uncle not suffer for your choice?”
Tobias swallowed. “I do not believe him to be a desperate man. He will not be swayed by false charms. If any pain is caused, it will be when he discovers my deception.”
