I stopped pacing.
Right?
My stomach dropped at the thought of any of them pulling away. Of Lee going quiet and guarded and that easy smile disappearing from someone else’s face. Of being looked at as if I’d disappointed them.
Maybe this was the universe correcting itself. Maybe this many good options meant I was about to lose all of them.
“Oh, that’s healthy,” I muttered to myself.
I flopped back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling again, heart racing as if I’d just run a mile instead of walking a few paces from my door.
I was crazy attracted to five men.
Five.
All for completely different reasons.
One made me feel like myself.
One made me feel seen and beautiful.
One made me feel challenged and strong.
One made me feel safe and protected.
One made me feel… brave.
How was I supposed to choose between those things? Between the comfort of the familiar and the curiosity of newthings? Between the version of me that felt soft and the version that felt bold?
What if choosing meant losing parts of myself I’d only just discovered?
My throat tightened.
This wasn’t just fun anymore. This wasn’t just flirting and late night kisses.
These were real people. Real feelings. And I had no idea how I was supposed to untangle this without breaking something. Like my own damned heart. I rolled onto my side and hugged a pillow to my chest.
“Okay,” I whispered to the empty room. “You are not having a breakdown over hypothetical heartbreak.”
Deep breath in.
Slow breath out.
I had signed up for this. I had wanted something different. Something bigger than my quiet little routine life.
Well.
This was certainly different. Ahugestep outside my comfort zone. And let’s face it. I didn’t have to solve this tonight, right? I had time. I had until the end of the event to figure out what I wanted. Who I wanted.
Tomorrow, I would talk to the others. I would be honest. I would let the chips fall where they may.
But tonight?
Tonight I could just admit the truth.
I was overwhelmed.
And exhilarated.
