“You can speak your mind with me,” Soren prompted when I grew quiet. He gave me a small teasing smile. “That’s a quality I’ve admired about you since the day we met.”
I blushed. “I’m not always blunt.”
“Well, perhaps you should be,” he teased.
I took a deep breath and went for it. “I just wonder if, for someone like that, you’ll ever be able to make him happy.”
When Soren’s smile fell, I rushed to explain. “No, I don’t mean it that way. I mean, you’realreadygood enough. If he can’t see it by now, after everything you’ve done, I don’t know if he ever will...”
Lips pressed together, he gave a short nod. “I know.”
My brows rose. “You do?”
“I know his opinion shouldn’t matter. That I should let my desire to please him go.”
“You should,” I agreed fervently.
“But,” he added, “knowing someone’s opinionshouldn’tmatter and actually releasing yourself from the weight of it are two very different things.”
I could understand that.
People’s opinions had always bothered me, even when I pretended they didn’t.
How strange that I could have the same underlying fear as a fae.
Maybe we weren’t so different after all.
“Have you ever thought about leaving?” I asked after we’d walked quietly for a few minutes. “Going back to the Shadow Court?”
“All the time,” he said immediately, then gave a humorless laugh. “And also... not really. Not in a real way with any planning behind it. But,” he added as we reached the entrance to court, “you’ve given me some things to consider.”
He held an arm out to me, like an old-fashioned gentleman.
I took it, thinking it’d feel strange. Instead, it made me feel safe.
He tucked his arm in, pulling me close, placing his fingers casually over mine.
I leaned in. I couldn’t help it.
Strolling through the court like this, as if we weren’t in a hurry, we searched for a toddy.
We followed the curve of the entire court. No luck.
Turning, we made another lap, eyes peeled for that vibrant red hair, but still nothing.
“They usually hover around the court looking for gossip like flies searching for refuse,” Soren muttered. “I don’t know why we haven’t found one yet.”
“Should we come back later?”
“No,” Soren murmured. That slight crease in his brow remained as his eyes swept the space more slowly on our third pass. “Gwen will be fine watching over the burrow for a few more hours. And Julian, Lore, and Peregrin are all meeting us here once they’re done with their tasks.”
I tore my gaze from his profile and tried to focus on my side of the court. “You think they’ve finished spreading their rumors by now?”
Soren didn’t answer verbally, just nodded.
“So, all that’s left is our... thing... and then we wait for the story to reach Caius.” I rehashed our plan out loud. Blowing out a puff of air, I added under my breath, “No big deal. Nothing will go wrong.” Might as well practice my lying.
Soren interrupted my mini-freak-out spiral. “Look, there.”
