“I get it, man,” Wade began, trying to be helpful. “In the service, there are women who say they understand you’ll be gone without warning or that you won’t show up for important things, but in practice? Well… that’s a different kind of thing, isn’t it?”
That wasn’t wrong. We had seen plenty of women chase after the Spec Ops men from all branches when we gathered at the bars around the bases. Most were looking to get laid, but a few hoped to get hitched to a military man with solid pay and benefits. They didn’t complain about the not-so-stellar parts that came with us. The shitty hours, the inability to call home or tell your loved ones about your work. Not to mention the mental health problems that came with the work.
But that wasn’t what happened with Catherine.
“Catherine told me she was pregnant the night I was planning to break things off with her. She never wanted kids, but she knew that I did, so she was ready to make a deal.” The thought was bitter. Catherine was nothing if not practical about money. “I wanted to keep the baby, and she wanted a ring and a penthouse.” The men’s eyes were saucer-like now, but I shrugged.
Kipp’s grin faded. “She was going to get an abortion?” He looked properly appalled.
It had been threatened multiple times. It wasn’t that I had any issues with a woman’s right to choose, but I’d always had an issue with how Catherine wielded the threats. To her, the pregnancy was an opportunity and nothing else.
“I knew in advance that she wasn’t interested in being part of Opal’s life. I’d hoped that she might change her mind after Opal was born, but that isn’t who she is. Even when we all lived in the same place, she wasn’t involved.” Admitting it to myself was hard. “I shouldn’t have expected her to be a different person.”
I didn’t want to really go into why Catherine was just a shitty person. I would have walked over coals for her and into the fire if she’d given me my baby with no strings. Instead, she’d tied me in a complicated agreement for years.
The look on Kipp’s face was murderous, but I knew that he and Hattie were trying to conceive, so I didn’t share my thoughts on the subject.
“We had more of an agreement than a marriage. I worked a lot at Redhawk, trying to make it successful. A lot of missions took me out of the country, but I tried to be home as much as possible.” Even as I said it, it sounded stupid.
East shook his head once. “That’s not how that works.”
I set my glass down and crossed my arms, before uncrossing them, self-consciously, finally giving them another piece of the puzzle. It was something I knew they’d understand. “She slept around,” I said, keeping my tone level. “She was typically discreet until recently, when she brought someone home and scared Opal.”
That wasn’t the whole truth of it, but it was most of it. Catherine and I had a five-year time limit on our “marriage”. We hit that date, and I immediately had readied my lawyers to start extricating myself. It had been a little harder than I thought.
Wade’s gaze sharpened. “You want me to?—”
“No,” I cut in with a laugh, knowing exactly where that sentence was headed. Wade was a solid friend for offering, but I wasn’t that much of a dick to kill a man because he slept with my ex-wife, especially when it was Catherine’s choice. The list would be long, and I didn’t give a fuck. “It’s not worth it. She can do what she wants. I mean obviously.” I shrugged. “An open marriage was part of the agreement anyway. Not that I was fucking her.”
The thought turned my stomach. I hadn’t touched her once in our entire marriage.
Kipp tipped his bottle back and took a long swallow. “She fight you on custody?”
“She did, but only to drive the price up. That sums up Catherine in a nutshell. I have full custody, but she does have visitation.” That was a bitter pill, only because it meant she could show up if she wanted, and we’d have to deal with the fallout. “She doesn’t want the responsibility of raising her full-time. She said she wasn’t built for it.” I blew out a breath and rubbed a hand over my face. “There’s nothing wrong with her wanting what she wants or being who she is. Catherine has always been upfront about things, but God, she’s an absolute bitch.”
Too bad Opal and I were connected to her, but the one thing that I’d learned in life was that sometimes what you thought were choices were out of your hands. Control was an illusion.
East blew out a breath. “That’s rough.”
“I’d rather she be honest,” I said. “Opal deserves someone who’s all in.”
Wade’s eyes held mine. “And that’s you.”
“Absolutely. No matter what it takes, I’ll give up Redhawk if I need to. Right now, I’m working part-time and handling logistics. Briggs has taken over the day-to-day for now, but I’ll help him on the side. I won’t be handling any assignments, but I’m willing to let that go if necessary, too. She’ll start school next week, so I’ll have time during the day.”
Giving up Redhawk and the men that belonged to it would be rough, but it was a step I was prepared to make if that was how it needed to go down. A real home for Opal was what came first. If I had to sell, then I would. Redhawk had kept me sane when I got out of the military, but for Opal, I’d do anything.
The house creaked faintly overhead, and all four of us glanced toward the ceiling out of instinct. I listened for the soft shuffle of Opal’s footsteps, ready to move if she called out, but the sound didn’t come.
“I think we both needed somewhere different,” I said after a moment. “Somewhere she could learn to ride a bike and have a yard.”
“And you picked this place,” Kipp said, gesturing vaguely toward the walls. “It definitely has a yard.” He snorted.
“It does. I remembered the last time I was here. We’d driven around a little, and I might have started getting the idea about what it might be like to live around here. Near good people.” They snorted. “Not you assholes obviously.”
“Obviously not Kipp.” Wade chipped in.
“Dick. I’m putting that raccoon back in your office.”
