One day I will break free.
One day I will kill them all.
There’s a knock at our door.
Tonya continues to spin in circles, living in her own little fucked-up world. Sometimes I envy her ability to pretend…to forget.
“Boss wants to see you,” a foot soldier tells me.
Most of the time I don’t bother to learn anyone’s names. They don’t last long enough to care.
Emotions have no place in this life.
In this prison I call home.
The armed man can’t be much older than sixteen.
He’s just a child, really.
Not that it matters.
He sees serving the Juarez brothers as an honor.
I see it as a death sentence.
Over the years, I’ve watched many come through these gates. It’s like that song Hotel California. Once you check in, you can never leave.
I give it a week, if that, before he’s dead.
When I first arrived here, I didn’t understand the blind loyalty, but I learned fast because I wanted to survive. Despite all the bad, I have an unyielding will to live. Maybe it’s my punishment for some wrong I did in a previous life.
Whatever the reason, I’ve learned to adapt.
To do whatever it takes to make it one more day.
Because Hector and Javi dangle the one thing I can’t resist over me like a carrot to a rabbit.
The dream of being reunited with my child someday.
He or she is about five years old.
I’ve never held them, but I love them.
I’ve only heard them cry once.
The night they were born.
It’s a sound that haunts me.
I won’t be like my mother or my father.
I will never abandon my child even if they don’t know I exist.
The boy shoves me through the door to Hector’s bedroom.
His newest mistress kneels at his feet in tears. Her dark hair hangs around her like a curtain, but I can hear the quiet sobs rattling in her chest.
I don’t know her name either.
