Outside, I take her hand in mine, but she pulls away. “I can’t hold your hand?”
She tucks her hair behind her ear. “Of course you can. I just…”
“It’s cool. No need to explain.”
“So, how have you been?”
Tension crackles between us as we wander down Main Street. I don’t pay attention to any of the windows. I’ve only got eyes for Daisy. Seeing her in the flesh is like a dream.
“Can’t complain. Been working. Trying to stay busy.”
“Same.”
“You look good. Happy.” She has a confidence she didn’t have the last time we met.
Daisy takes me to a small park that holds some old playground equipment. A couple of swings. A slide. Monkey bars.
She plops down on a swing, gripping the chains between her fingers, dragging her Chuck Taylors in the dirt.
I stand behind her, giving her a gentle push. “Lonerock’s been good to you.”
“I like it here. More than I expected to. I just don’t know where I go from here. I thought leaving here I’d want something different.”
“Like what?”
“Revenge.” She kicks her feet, and I push her higher.
“And you don’t want it now?”
“I do, but it’s not all I want. When I first came here, I was filled with so much rage and sadness. I wanted to hop on the first ticket out of here and run Hector and Jose down. Make them pay for every bad thing they did to me.”
“We’ve been trying to get intel on your kid, but it’s been hard.”
She stops swinging abruptly, digging the toes of her shoes into the dirt. “You can stop searching.”
I walk around to her front and crouch in front of her. “You want me to stop looking?”
“There’s no point. My baby is dead.”
“How do you know that?”
“I just do.”
“Did someone tell you that?” I study her features.
She licks her lips. “No. I just know it in here.” She puts a hand to her heart.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m not cut out to be anyone’s mother.”
“Is that what you think?” I reach out to touch her cheek.
“It’s what I know. I’m fucked up.”
“I don’t think so.” I thumb her cheek, forcing her to look at me. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. Smarter than most. And mean as a rattlesnake, if you want to be.” The smile that tugs at her mouth is small but honest.
“I’ve gotten meaner,” she says.
