I stare at the phone. For a second, I try to imagine what it would feel like to just smash it to pieces. What a fantasy. I can’t even make my own legs get me out of bed right now.
I press call on the only saved number.
“Pequeña flor,” Hector says, and my belly does a flip. “Tyrant is one of ours. He’ll take care of you.”
“I see. I’m at the clubhouse and under lock and key.” I don’t give him anything he doesn’t already know. I’m not sure why he needs or wants me here if he’s already got a man on the inside, but it’s not my place to question him.
“Good. Talk soon, yeah.” He ends the call.
My stomach burns with hunger. I force myself to get up and find somewhere to hide the phone. I settle on sticking it behind a drawer in the bathroom.
When I come back out, Big Daddy is waiting for me, and he doesn’t look happy to see me. Not that I can blame him. I’ve been shoved onto them like inheriting debt that isn’t yours.
“Brought you a change of clothes. My daughter is about your size.” He nods to a stack of jeans and tees on the bed. “I know why you’re here.”
“I––”
He holds up a hand to stop me. “Don’t try and bullshit me, girl. What I want to know is what you get out of this?”
“They have my baby.”
“A baby you’ve never held.”
Of course, Lunatic told him. He’s not my friend. He’s not my anything. The biker was simply doing what he was told. My mind flashes back to the way waking up next to him felt. Safe and warm. “No. But I gave them life. Carried them inside my body.”
“I’m going to tell you something I’ve not shared with anyone. I know Hector has a mole here. You give me a name and I’ll find your kid. Set you up with a new life.”
My pulse thrums. “I can’t make any promises.”
“Think about it. You can’t trust the Juarez brothers.”
“Why should I trust you?”
“You’re still breathing, aren’t you?”
I nod. “Think about my offer. I have no doubt whoever it is will make contact with you soon enough. For now, I’ve got my girl and her friend coming to pamper you a little.”
“Why? Why are you being nice to me?”
“You remind me of someone I used to know.” He glances at something on his phone and leaves without elaborating further, leaving me more confused.
“Girl, the right hair color and cut can change your life,” Celia says as she runs her scissors over the ends of my hair.
She’s sweet. Her and Gwynee, Big Daddy’s ol’ lady, both are.
I’m sure he’s hoping I’ll let my guard down and tell them something. But there’s nothing to tell. The things I know about Hector and Jose’s business is likely less than they have knowledge of. They’re in business with him. Not me.
I’m just a whore and a junkie.
Like my dad and Charlie. I’m no better than Cookie.
It’s been sometime since I’ve really thought about them. If they could see me now, would they be proud that I became everything I hate?
Sometimes I wonder what became of my father. Wonder if Momma and Jacob ever think about me. Jacob probably doesn’t remember I ever existed, but surely my mother wonders what fate she condemned me to by leaving.
Maybe Big Daddy can’t find my baby, but he could probably tell me what became of my family.
Celia streaks some color and bleach through my locks while she and Gwynee chitchat about her salon. I mostly tune them out.
