My eyes dropped to my wine glass and I forced a smile. “It’s fine.”
“What?”
“It was just one night. That’s what you’re going to tell me.”
“What? No!”
Hope blossomed as I looked up into his eyes. Could he be serious? He wasn’t leaving?”
“What I was going to say is that…I’m not ready to move on. Not into another relationship. And I probably should have told you that last night, but I was a little wrapped up in…other thoughts.”
“Oh.”
Well, I wasn’t expecting that.
“I like you, Ellie. A lot. I think I made it pretty clear that I want to fuck you anyway I can on any surface every hour of the day. And I don’t see that changing anytime soon. But I should have been honest with you about where my head is.”
I nodded, feeling a twinge of disappointment deep in my gut. I was relieved that he wanted to fuck me, that he found me that desirable. But the idea that he didn’t want more than that was hard to take. I didn’t want to be somebody’s fuck toy. That reminded me too much of what happened with Liam, and I never actually slept with him.
But the fallout was no different.
“Ellie, I’m just trying to be honest with you. And if you tell me you don’t want to sleep with me anymore, I completelyunderstand. I can’t expect you to stay with me when you know I can’t offer you more.”
I upended the contents of my glass, swallowing the last of it in one gulp. It was a mood killer to hear the man you were attracted to only wanted to sleep with you, and nothing more.
Nothing about what happened last night was turning out the way I wanted. I didn’t know how to react, what to say. I wanted him, but did I really want to have a non-relationship with the man?
Could I handle that?
I stood and walked into the kitchen, refilling my wine glass as I thought it over. It was sex. Amazing sex. Earth-shattering sex. He might not want more now, but in time, he might see things differently.
Not that I expected him to change just because he was sleeping with me. That wasn’t likely to happen with any man. But I also didn’t want to be made to feel cheap. I wanted more than just sex.
“Ellie, say something,” he said, getting to his feet.
“I want more.”
His face fell, the pleading look turning more toward disappointment.
“I don’t want to just be used for sex.”
“I get it,” he said softly.
“But I also know that you can’t offer me more than that right now. So, I have a counteroffer for you.”
“I’m listening.”
“Don’t make me feel cheap. I don’t want you dropping by in the middle of the night and then sneaking out. If we make plans to see each other, you don’t show up just expecting sex. I want a friendship out of this. I want someone I can spend time with and feel comfortable with. It doesn’t have to be a relationship in thenormal sense. But you can give me your time. You can treat me respectfully and get to know me.”
“That’s basically a relationship.”
“No, that’s not what I’m asking for. I’m not asking for the commitment. When you’re done, you tell me. But while you’re with me, we can share a meal. We can talk about our days. You can spend the night, or I can stay with you. That’s what I need. I don’t want to feel cheap.”
He stiffened, nodding immediately. “I get it.”
“What happened last night was…” I sucked in a breath, remembering how he laid me out on the counter and devoured me. Shivers raced down my spine at the thought of all the other ways he could have me.
“And that’s what you want,” he said, slowly walking around the counter. “You need more of what I can give you.”
