“In New York, I was with someone, and she used to wear my shirts. Those shirts,” I said, pointing to the dress shirt crumpled on the floor. “And things didn’t end well between us. And when I saw you in that shirt, it was like…like I was putting you in New York where I don’t want to be. You can wear any other fucking shirt of mine. Hell, you can wear my underwear, if you want…”
She wrinkled her nose at that, but thankfully smiled.
“Just not those shirts.”
After a moment, she nodded. “Okay.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. It just took me by surprise.”
The apology may have worked, but now things were awkward, and it was all my fault. There was no getting back to where we were before I woke up and ruined everything. And I didn’t know how to make it better.
Clearly, she didn’t know how to either. “Coffee?” she asked, getting up and walking over to the dresser.
“That would be great.”
I took it from her outstretched hand, but she didn’t sit down. Hell, I didn’t even blame her. I fucking yelled at her as soon as I woke up.
“Well, I have to take a shower and start getting ready for work.” She blatantly ignored me as she gathered some things for the bathroom.
“Ellie—”
“Any plans for the day?” She didn’t bother looking at me. “What are you going to do now that you’re sticking around?” She stopped and finally looked over at me, her brows furrowed. “Are you sticking around?”
“Yeah, I’m sticking around,” I smiled.
“Good. I mean, for you. Now you just have to figure out what to do in Montana. It’s completely different from New York.”
I had this bad feeling, like we were venturing into territory I wouldn’t like.
“Yeah, it is.”
“Lots of skyscrapers and tourists. God, that must be annoying. I mean, we have tourists around here, but nothing like New York.”
Fuck, we had just reached the boring phase where neither of us had anything fun to talk about. And it wasn’t her fault. It was one hundred percent on me and my big mouth.
“Ellie, can we go back to before I woke up and was a complete ass?”
She smiled over at me, but it wasn’thersmile. It was that placating one that people used when they wanted to pretend everything was fine.
“We’re good. I promise, but I really do have to get to work.”
“Right,” I sighed, knowing it was all fucked up now.
“My Jeep is still at the bar. Can you?—”
“Yeah, finish getting ready and I’ll take you over there.”
“Great!” she beamed, sauntering into her bathroom.
I scrubbed a hand down my face, wondering how the hell I was going to fix this. I as good as yelled at her and told her she wasn’t worthy ofthatshirt. It all came out wrong, but I didn’t know how else to explain it.
That shirt represented the old me. A person who no longer existed. And the last thing I wanted to be reminded of when Ellie walked into a room was Bianca. That betrayal had cut deep, and I wasn’t sure I would ever really move past what had happened.
If I wanted things to continue with Ellie, I needed to find a way to make things right.
Just don’t overcommit to a woman when you’re not sure you can really give her all of you.
I wanted to swat the voice in my head and tell him to fuck off, but I couldn’t do that. He was right. After the shit that happened with Bianca, the last thing I wanted to do was jump into a new relationship with a woman who had clearly already been hurt.
