He got the woman he loved, and I was getting the cold shoulder.
So much for helping out a friend.
8
RYDER
Ryder,it’s Bianca. It’s been a week and you still haven’t called me back. We need to talk. Please, just…don’t shut me out. I love you.
I hung up the phone and tossed it on the bed. Still under the covers, it was nice to sleep in. I didn’t have anywhere to go today, no obligations like a job holding me to a schedule.
Though four in the afternoon was pushing it even for me. I hadn’t eaten a single thing all day. I’d reached a new all-time low where I wallowed in bed and watched TV. This was pathetic for any man. What I needed was to figure out what I was going to do with my life.
Grabbing my computer, I started checking out the list of businesses in town. I doubted anyone was looking for a lawyer, and even if they were, I doubted there would be work for a criminal lawyer in a town this small.
Still, I searched through all the job openings within fifty miles. And then I expanded the search even further. Missoula had some openings. One law firm needed someone to file paperwork.
Another needed a runner.
But no one was hiring a full-time lawyer, which wasn’t a huge surprise. I might just have to send out some applications and see if anyone was interested. I had plenty of experience and a great track record. But the way I left New York…
I closed the window, about to shut the laptop, when an idea struck. It was stupid, really. I’d set up the account a long time ago, but it was probably still active.
It took me twenty minutes just to remember what dating site I used. Then I had to remember my password from eight years ago. Fuck, it took forever. Finally, I got in and grimaced at the picture. I was so much younger then. My hairstyle was floppy, and I dressed like I was fresh out of college.
I changed it immediately, not exactly sure why, other than the fact that that picture did not need to be out there for anyone to see. I went through the requests that had gone unanswered over the years until I got to the most recent.
There were a few decent pictures, but none of them really got me interested. I was still fucking pissed as hell about what happened with Bianca. But I loved her all the same. I had planned to spend my life with her, and look how that had turned out.
Sighing, I was about to close out of the window when my phone rang again.
Bianca.
Fuck, I really wanted to answer it. I wanted to hear her voice and know that she was okay. Before I could think twice, I answered, but that was as far as I got. No words came out. I couldn’t even think of the proper greeting for someone like her.
“Ryder? Are you there?”
I didn’t answer, just closed my eyes and listened. I tried to remember what it was like waking up in bed beside her.
“Please, just talk to me. I know you’re mad, but we can work through this. Mr. Hanson called. He wants you back. We can still fix this, baby. We can still have?—”
I hung up as anger surged through me. She didn’t get it. There was nothing to fix. There was no way to make any of it better. She made her choice, and it wasn’t me.
I threw the phone against the wall, not caring in the least when it bounced off and shattered. All of it was falling apart. Every second, every day that I worked my ass off, and it all blew up in my face.
And she didn’t fucking choose me. I couldn’t stop going back to that, the look on her face as she pleaded with me. She didn’t fucking know me at all. That much was clear.
I grabbed the computer and scrolled to the first profile I liked.
Wanna meet?
When?
It should have surprised me that this woman was online, waiting for someone to answer. Then again, I was online and answering back.
Tonight. Do you know The Beaver and Boot?
Yeah, I can meet you there. What time?
