“I mean, he is married,” Delaney cringed. “It’s not likely he’s going to suddenly change his mind.”
“Right, which is why I need to try something crazy. No more playing it safe or looking just right. I need to live vicariously somehow.”
Delaney grabbed my computer, shooting me a mischievous smile. “Then let’s get you out of your shell.”
“And how do you propose we do that online?”
“Easy. We’re going to set up a dating profile for you.”
My eyes bugged out of my head at the thought. “Um, no,” I said, reaching for the computer, but she instantly tugged it away from me.
“Delaney, I’m serious! You are not doing this!”
I got up and started chasing her, but she darted away from me, giggling as she started on a profile for me.
“I do not want this!” I shouted, nearly snatching the computer out of her hands when Josie came running at me, tackling me onto the couch. “Get off me!”
“Laney, do you hear something?” Josie asked.
“Nope. Not a thing.”
“You heifer!” I shouted, slapping her arm.
“Hey! I’m pregnant. You can’t hit me.”
Shit, I hadn’t thought about that. I wiggled and writhed, but couldn’t get her to move off me.
“Let’s see…How would you describe yourself?” Delaney asked, winking at me as she started typing. “Good girl. Blonde, buxom, and confident. From a small town, but waiting for the right man to come and sweep me off my feet and show me what a good time really means.”
“Do not write that! I’m not buxom!” I shouted, thrusting my hips in the air. Josie just snickered at me, holding her place.
“Girl, no man alive would say no to those breasts. You’ve got ‘em, so use ‘em.”
“Except every man I’ve ever dated!” I retorted, thrusting my hips again, twisting to throw Josie off me, but the bitch just grabbed my hair and brought me with her.
“What are you passionate about?” Delaney continued. “Lingerie,” she snickered.
“You’re making me sound like a slut!”
“What’s your dream bae-cation?”
“What the hell is a bae-cation?” I asked, heaving and out of breath. I had no idea Josie was so fit, and if I could get away with punching her in the boob, I would. But somehow, that didn’t seem right.
“My dream bae-cation is a getaway in the mountains, snowed in where there’s nothing to do but keep each other warm,” Delaney said as she typed.
“Are you freaking kidding me? You’re making me sound like a whore!”
“I’m getting you dates, my friend. What’s a non-negotiable in your life?” she continued.
“Seriously, please don’t do this.”
But she didn’t listen to me. Her fingers flew across the keyboard as she typed out God knows what on my profile.
“And now for a picture.”
“Ooh, I have one on my phone!” Josie called out, grabbing my wrists to hold me down. “The one of her at the shop. She’s holding the?—”
I gasped, shooting upright. “Don’t you dare!”
